Carl Carlson Quotes
Homer: What does this job pay?
Carl: Unless you're crooked.
- Permalink: What does this job pay? Nothing. D'oh! Unless you're crook...
Carl: Hey, I heard we're goin' to Ape Island.
Lenny: Yeah, to capture a giant ape. I wished we were going to Candy Apple Island.
Charlie: Candy Apple Island? What do they got there?
Carl: Apes. But they're not so big.
- Permalink: Hey, I heard we're goin' to Ape Island. Yeah, to capture a gia...
Carl: That's it?
Lenny: Yeah, I've got a magic bat too!
Carl: And I have an enchanting jockstrap, Heh, heh, heh.
- Permalink: That's it? Yeah, I've got a magic bat too! And I have an enc...
(to Homer) Yeah, and I got my enchanted jock strap!
- Permalink: Yeah, and I got my enchanted jock strap!
Burns: These two gentlemen are American as apple pie! Hans and Fritz, why that's just... John and Frank!
Quimby: Ich bin ein Springfielder
Carl: Oh this ain't good!
Homer: We'll all lose our jobs!
Marge: Look at all those worried faces, except for Lenny, he looks great!
Lenny: (with mouth surgery) This is the worst day of my life.
- Permalink: These two gentlemen are American as apple pie! Hans and Fritz, w...
Carl: I'd give him my blood, except for one thing
Lenny: What's that?
Carl: I don't wanna.
Homer: I can't believe you guys, there's a human being out there, with millions of dollars who needs our help, and you don't wanna cash in? That's why you losers are stuck in this crumby dead-end job!
Carl: You know Homer I am your supervisor
Homer: Sorry sir.
- Permalink: I'd give him my blood, except for one thing What's that? I d...
Donut Delivery Man: Why are all these donuts piling up?
Carl: Homer Simpson went on a diet.
Donut Delivery Man: Oh, my God! I just bought a boat!
- Permalink: Why are all these donuts piling up? Homer Simpson went on a di...
(Homer, Lenny and Carl eat lunch at the power plant)
Homer: D'oh! Outta tartar sauce. They call this a portion? Hey, Lenny, are you gonna use all of your tartar sauce?
(Lenny slides his lunch tray away from Homer)
Homer: Dry fish sticks. This sucks.
Carl: Quit complaining, chrome dome.
Homer: D'oh! If I had hair, you wouldn't be calling me that!
- Permalink: <i>(Homer, Lenny and Carl eat lunch at the power plant)</i> D'...
Lenny: Date night, it's the embalming fluid that keeps the mummy of a marriage fresh after the heart and brain have been pulled out through the nose.
Carl: I never should have given you that Egyptology book.
- Permalink: Date night, it's the embalming fluid that keeps the mummy of a m...