Scrubs

Carla Espinosa Quotes (Page 11)

J.D.: Dr. Bailey was fired last night.
Carla: Why?
Flashback
Dr. Bailey: For this procedure, I'm going to have to numb you... (Clicks on his pen light and stares at the female patient's chest) Num, num, num, num, num, num, num!
End Flashback
Turk: You know, in Dr. Bailey's defense-
Carla: No, no, no, no.
J.D.: There have been times-
Carla: No.
 • Rating: Unrated

Carla: So anyways, we figured if I offered to do the nursing schedules, and these guys volunteered to do extra shifts at the clinic, Dr. Kelso might give you your job back!
Elliot: No, thanks.
Carla: Why?
Fantasy
Elliot: Carla, I can't do your paperwork, I am swamped!
Carla: I got you your job back.
Cut to...
Elliot: Turk, I am not giving you my last tater-tot!
Turk: I got you your job back!
Cut to...
Elliot: J.D.! I don't care if they're able to successfully attach one person's limbs onto another person's body - I am not giving you my hands!
J.D.: Job back!
 • Rating: Unrated

J.D.'s narration: Since I was currently homeless, Turk and Carla were letting me crash here as long as I needed.
Carla: J.D., you have to get out. This place is tiny! And I'm sick of seeing your man-panties hangin' all over the bathroom.
J.D.: They're called boxers, Carla.
Carla: They're satin, J.D.?
J.D.: With a breathable cotton crotch panel!
 • Rating: Unrated

J.D.: Friday's my birthday! I've already e-vited everyone to a party at our place.
Carla: Whose place?
J.D.: Your place. Look, I can't just un-e-vite everyone - I've already got two e-yeses and twenty-four e-maybes. That's a lot of e-sponses.
Carla: Bambi, I'm gonna put my e-foot up your ass.
 • Rating: Unrated

Carla: If money is so tight, why not have Jake move in with you?
Jordan: Who's Jake?
Dr. Cox: Jordan! ...No!
Elliot: He's this guy that I've been going out with for a while, but we're not ready to move in. He's a little closed-off, you know?
Jordan: Uh, sweetie, are you aware of who I live with?
 • Rating: Unrated

Carla: Elliot, maybe you should be the one to open Jake up? You know like Turk can be a little...immature - you know, like I always have to talk about my feelings over dinner or shut off his iPod during sex.
 • Rating: Unrated

Carla: Oh, you don't know anything about triathlons!
J.D.: Well, I didn't know anything about cereal inventing, either, Carla. And yet if it wasn't for a certain harshly-worded cease and desist letter, we'd all be eating J.D.'s Bananas & Nuts.
 • Rating: Unrated

Carla: Turk! We're gonna have kids soon. We're supposed to be a team! That means you occasionally have to listen to me and believe in my opinion! Like, what if we have a daughter and she wants to get her ears pierced?
Turk: Irrelevant. We're not having a daughter.
Carla: Okay. What if we have a son and he wants to take dance class, even though all his friends are playing football?
Turk: He can dance if he wants to... He can leave his friends behind... "'Cause his friends don't dance, and if they don't dance, then they're no friends of mine!"
 • Rating: Unrated

Carla: So then I said, "What if our son wants to take dance class instead of play football with his friends?" and Turk ran off singing "Safety Dance."
Elliot: Carla, didn't you learn your lesson that time you told him the commissar was in town?
Carla: Yeah...
 • Rating: Unrated

Carla: Turk! Turk, where are you going?
Turk: Honey, I can't do this. I don't believe in any of this hypnotism crap. I only needed to impress Kelso.
Carla: Oh, so great, you lied to me.
Turk: I'm about to ruin my career by plunging a knife into a completely conscious person! But you know what, you're absolutely right - let's focus on the lying.
 • Rating: Unrated

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