Desperate Housewives

Carlos Solis Quotes (Page 10)

Gabrielle: You see, your health insurance sent us a letter because someone ordered a year's worth of birth control pills, and apparently our policy doesn't cover drugs bought by the kilo.
Carlos: I told you, it was mama.
Gabrielle: The prescription was dated, Carlos, and Juanita was in a coma when this claim was filed. You did this, not your mother. At least be man enough to own up to it. She would've been
 • Rating: Unrated

Carlos: Before the accident I told her how much I wanted a child and she said that she would take care of it. I just thought that she would talk to you. Baby, I am so sorry.
Gabrielle: That bitch! I can't believe her.
Carlos: I loved her, but even I had issues sometimes. I mean she could be very controlling.
Gabrielle: Reaching out from the grave to screw with me. God, she's good!
 • Rating: Unrated

Carlos: Where are you going?
Gabrielle: I feel a wave of morning sickness coming on, and I want to be standing on your mother's grave when it hits
 • Rating: Unrated

Carlos: You've been paying more attention to your food than you have to me lately.
Gabrielle: I plan on getting really fat as a tribute to your mother
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Gabrielle: If you ever hurt me again, I will kill you.
Carlos: If you ever leave me for another man, I'll kill you.
Gabrielle: Boy, with all this passion, isn't it a shame that we're not having sex?
 • Rating: Unrated

Gabrielle: I don't need your credit cards, Carlos, and I don't need your money, but if our marriage is gonna work, I need your respect.
Carlos: I'm not ripping up the post-nup.
Gabrielle: Yes, you are. Because if you don't, I'm gonna put on my new shoes and walk out the door.
Carlos: You're threatening me?
Gabrielle: No, I'm just pointing something out. I'm a pretty girl, and pretty girls are never lonely
 • Rating: Unrated

Gabrielle: What's that?
Carlos: It's called a post-nuptual agreement. It's a legal document that...
Gabrielle: No, I know what a post-nup is. What is it doing on my coffee table?
Carlos: Well, I can forgive that stunt you pulled with the settlement check...if I'm sure that you're really going to be around when I get out of jail.
Gabrielle: And the post-nup changes the terms of the pre-nup. So...
Carlos: So if you try to divorce me while I'm gone, you get nothing.
Gabrielle: You don't trust me?
Carlos: I'm afraid not
 • Rating: Unrated

Gabrielle: What?
Carlos: You never liked Mama.
Gabrielle: Well, it's awfully hard to like someone who actively hates your guts. She always thought you married beneath you and she let me know it.
Carlos: She loved you.
Gabrielle: She treated me like trash! God rest her soul.
Carlos: I'm putting my mother in the grave. Now is not the time to pinch pennies.
Gabrielle: Carlos, we're not exactly flush with cash right now. Let her be true to her roots. She was born humble and barefoot.
Carlos: She was a queen
 • Rating: Unrated

Gabrielle: Before we got married we made a deal. No kids.
Carlos: Deals are meant to be re-negotiated.
Gabrielle: Well, we're not negotiating my uterus
 • Rating: Unrated

Carlos: Hmmmm... that's nice.
Gabrielle: You like that?
Carlos: Oh, yeah.
Gabrielle: God, I'm gonna miss this, Carlos.
Carlos: What do you mean?
Gabrielle: Well, since, I'm gonna have to be doing the cooking, and the cleaning, and all the shopping, like the other wives...
Carlos: Hmmm, hmmm.
Gabrielle: I'm going to be exhausted at night, just like all the other wives, til I build up my stamina, of course, but that might take a couple of years
 • Rating: Unrated

Are we missing your favorite quote from "?" Submit it here and get points for adding quotes!