We're gonna play True American because I want to. I'm using my bride card!

The very fact that socks exist is proof shoes don't work.

Just because a scary man yelled his name in your face doesn't mean you can't like sake baths.

Good luck with these two because if they get really hungry then all bets are off.

Ever since we got engaged you've been acting insanely jealous.

You don't need Jess's bowl of advice, Winston.

What? You don't think I can be supportive?

Schmidt: Are you in love with me? Because I'm in love with you, deeply. I assume that you would never because I messed this up so many times. You've made it very clear you only want to be friends with me and I value that friendship so much. So it I'm ruining it by doing any of this, please stop me.
Cece: Schmidt. I'm in love with you.

Schmidt: I know this might seem crazy and probably a little bit impulsive, but it's not, not for me. I've known since the minute that I've met you.
Cece: Oh god, you're going to say something stupid, aren't you?
Schmidt: Girl, will you marry me?
Cece: Yes. Yes, yes, yes!
Jess: We're getting married!

Cece: You know that guy I'm dating?
Schmidt: Buster, your child bride?

Cece: I thought I threw that thing out the window.
Schmidt: That only made it stronger.

The guy who got me this told me he could also get me a box of dolphin steaks or a "mostly white" baby.

New Girl Quotes

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick

Get rid of it, Jess. Pine has no place in this loft. It's the wood of poor people and outhouses.

Schmidt