Cece: You know that guy I'm dating?
Schmidt: Buster, your child bride?

Cece: I thought I threw that thing out the window.
Schmidt: That only made it stronger.

The guy who got me this told me he could also get me a box of dolphin steaks or a "mostly white" baby.

I used to just think if I was proposed to I would notice it was happening.

Jess: Nick kissed me?
Cece: WHAAAAAAAAAA?

Cece: I'm still marrying an Indian guy.
Schmidt: Sure, but you went home with a Jew in a turban. I'm just saying.

Cece: You look like a character from The Love Guru.
Schmidt: Aw, thank you.

Schmidt: A pogo is what your friends talk about when you leave the room.
Cece: Oh like your barnacle toenails?

Cece:Do you have any agave?
Schmidt: We might have some pressed lentils syrups in the mixin's cabinet.

Cece: I know you have more costumes in your closet.
Schmidt: Those costumes are for Purim.

Schmidt: I get that. Your business is selling sex. You're a sex worker.
CeCe: You're an idiot.

CeCe: Are you "White Fanging" me?
Schmidt: What?
CeCe: White Fang? The only book you have on your Kindle. The book you wouldn't stop talking about, and I said, "Would you please stop talking about White Fang" and then you said, "Someday, I'm gonna do that to somebody".

New Girl Quotes

You question my pajamas? You make me question our entire friendship!

Jess

Do not challenge me to a sex stand-off. I can channel all of my sexual energy into knitting. How do you think I made it through high school?

Jess