Schmidt: Are you in love with me? Because I'm in love with you, deeply. I assume that you would never because I messed this up so many times. You've made it very clear you only want to be friends with me and I value that friendship so much. So it I'm ruining it by doing any of this, please stop me.
Cece: Schmidt. I'm in love with you.

Schmidt: I know this might seem crazy and probably a little bit impulsive, but it's not, not for me. I've known since the minute that I've met you.
Cece: Oh god, you're going to say something stupid, aren't you?
Schmidt: Girl, will you marry me?
Cece: Yes. Yes, yes, yes!
Jess: We're getting married!

Cece: You know that guy I'm dating?
Schmidt: Buster, your child bride?

Cece: I thought I threw that thing out the window.
Schmidt: That only made it stronger.

The guy who got me this told me he could also get me a box of dolphin steaks or a "mostly white" baby.

I used to just think if I was proposed to I would notice it was happening.

Jess: Nick kissed me?
Cece: WHAAAAAAAAAA?

Cece: I'm still marrying an Indian guy.
Schmidt: Sure, but you went home with a Jew in a turban. I'm just saying.

Cece: You look like a character from The Love Guru.
Schmidt: Aw, thank you.

Schmidt: A pogo is what your friends talk about when you leave the room.
Cece: Oh like your barnacle toenails?

Cece:Do you have any agave?
Schmidt: We might have some pressed lentils syrups in the mixin's cabinet.

Cece: I know you have more costumes in your closet.
Schmidt: Those costumes are for Purim.

New Girl Quotes

Schmidt: Who let the dirty slut out of the slut house?
Jess [in a British accent]: Probably the slut butler, right!

I feel like I wanna murder someone and also I want soft pretzels.

Jess