Chandler Bing Quotes
Ross: (About his thing) The worst thing is he said, he said, without being able to identify it, he was reluctant to remove it.
Chandler: Ya know what? You should go to my guy, because when I went in there with my third nipple. He just lopped it right off.
(To Monica) This is Pete we're talking about, he's not like other people. On your first date, he took you to Rome! For most guys, that's like a second or third date kind of thing.
Joey: Hey, wouldn't it be cool if our duck and our chick had a little baby? We could call it Chuck.
Chandler: Or Dick.
Joey: Uh, listen I gotta double check for tickets tonight. Who, who got what?
Chandler, Phoebe & Rachel: I had one.
Monica: I need two. I'm bringing Pete. My boyfriend. I have a boyfriend now!
Joey: Two it is. Ross, how about you?
Ross: Uh, yeah, I, ah, I also need two.
Monica: Really? Who's number two?
Chandler: Who's number two? One of the more difficult games sewer workers play.
Ross: Uh, no, it's, it's just this person.
Phoebe: Like a date type person?
Ross: Yeah, kinda. It's this woman from work. I hope that won't be too weird. Will it, Rach?
Rachel: No. No, not at all, not at all. I actually was gonna bring someone myself, so...
Joey: But you said one.
Rachel: I meant, me plus one!
Joey: Okay. (to Phoebe and Chandler) Did, ah, you guys mean you plus one?
Ross: I'm telling you, this guy Rachel is with is crazy! Okay? He viciously screamed at total strangers! I think he's bad news!
Chandler: Wait a minute, wait a minute, you don't like the guy Rachel's dating? Well, (Sarcastically) that's odd.
Joey: So, so, what'd you think?
Chandler: Almost as good as that play with the two naked girls on the see-saw.
Joey: I, I wasn't in that.
Chandler: I know.
Joey: Oh, hey! You guys are finally gonna get to meet Kate! (To Chandler) And I borrowed some of your cologne. I hope she likes it.
Monica: Joey, what are you doing? It's never gonna happen. She's seeing somebody.
Chandler: Yeah, and I don't have any cologne.
Joey: Green bottle next to the shaving cream.
Chandler: Oh, worm medicine for the duck.
Chandler: (Entering, carrying the chick and duck) Hey! Can you take a duck and a chick to the theater?
Monica: Of course not.
Phoebe: No.
Chandler: Okay. I just wanted them to hear it from somebody else.
Ross: He screamed, he literally screamed at this couple.
Chandler: Yeah, and at the end of the play, he got up and just started to bang his hands together.
(To Tommy) Step away from the duck.
(To Ross and Rachel) Do you guys know how to get a chick out of a VCR?!
(To the chick) That's Yasmine Bleeth. She's a different kind of chick.
