Chandler Bing Quotes
Chandler: Hey, would you sleep with somebody to get a great job?
Rachel: I don't know. Who would I have to sleep with?
Chandler: Me.
Rachel: Why would I have to sleep with you?
Chandler: It's my game. You want the job or not?
Chandler: (Entering his apartment to find Joey making lots of food) Hey.
Joey: Hey.
Chandler: Whoa, so I'm guessing you didn't get the part, or... uh, Italy called and said it was hungry.
Rachel: I kind of have plans.
Monica: You have other friends?
Rachel: Yeah, I, uh, I have a date.
Monica: What?
Phoebe: You have a date?
Rachel: Yes! I have a date.
Joey: With a man?
Rachel: No, with a crouton. What is so strange about me having a date?
Chandler: With a crouton?
Russ: Hi.
Chandler: Oh, hey.
Phoebe: Hi.
Russ: I guess you guys heard, Rachel dumped me.
Chandler: Yeah, I'm sorry man.
Russ: Oh, all she said was that I remind her too much of somebody. You have any idea who she's talking about?
Phoebe: Oh I do, it's... it's Bob Saget. She hates him.
Joey: My agent just called me with an audition for Days of Our Lives!
Phoebe: Oh, well, we have to celebrate. You know what we should do? We should do, like, a soap opera theme.
Chandler: Yeah, we could all sleep together and then one of us could get amnesia.
The way that I see it is you get a great job and you get to have sex. You know, I mean, throw in a tree and a fat guy and you've got Christmas.
Joey: Well, I guess I could sleep with her. I mean, how could I do that?
Chandler: Well, I've got a pop-up book that told me everything I need to know.
Ross: (About Russ) And it takes him like, I don't know, uh ... hello, like a week ... to get out a sentence.
Chandler: It's annoying, isn't it?
Ross: Uh, tch ... I know.
Phoebe: A plate of brownies once told me a limerick.
Chandler: Pheebs, let me ask you something... Were... were these, uh, "funny" brownies?
Phoebe: Not especially. But you know what, I think they had pot in them!
Joey: I can't believe it's Christmas already. Ya know, I mean, one day your eating turkey, the next thing ya know, your lords are a-leaping and you geese are a-laying.
Chandler: Which is why geese are so relaxed this time of year.
Ho, ho, ho, holy crap is it hot in here!
Joey: Phoebe here with the cab yet?
Chandler: Yeah, she, she brought the invisible cab... hop in.
