Chandler: Your little men are gonna get scored on more times than your sister!
Joey: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Which sister?

Joey: I don't wanna leave you high and dry.
Chandler: Hey, I've never been lower or wetter.

Joey: I'm 28 years old, I've never lived alone, and I'm finally at a place where I've got enough money that I don't need a roommate anymore.
Chandler: Woah, woah, woah. I don't need a roommate either, okay? I can afford to live here by myself. You know, I may have to bring in somebody once a week to lick the silverware.

Chandler: (About Joey finishing his cereal, licking his spoon, and putting it back in the silverware drawer) The spoon. You licked and, and you put. You licked and you put!
Joey: Yeah, so.
Chandler: Well don't you see how gross that is? I mean that's like you using my toothbrush. (Joey looks sheepish) You used my toothbrush?
Joey: Well, that was only because I used the red one to unclog the drain.
Chandler: Mine is the red one! Oh God. Can open, worms everywhere.
Joey: Hey, why can't we use the same toothbrush, but we can use the same soap?
Chandler: Because soap is soap. It's self-cleaning.
Joey: All right, well next time you take a shower, think about the last thing I wash and the first thing you wash.

Phoebe: (About tattoos) Um, I'm getting a lily for my Mom. 'Cause her name's Lily.
Chandler: Wow, that's lucky. What if her name was Big Ugly Splotch?

Joey: All right, no peeking. No peeking, no peeking, no peeking.
Chandler: All right, all right, but you better be wearing clothes when I open my eyes.

Chandler: (On the phone) Uh, two larges, extra cheese on both. But listen, don't ring the buzzer for 19. Ring 20. Geller/Greene. They'll let you in, okay? If you buzz our door, there's no tip for you. Okay, thanks. (Hangs up phone) Pizza's on the way. I told you we wouldn't have to get up.
Joey: What if we have to pee?
Chandler: (Reaching for phone) I'll cancel the sodas.

Phoebe: I can't believe two cows made the ultimate sacrifice so you guys could watch TV with your feet up.
Chandler: Well, they were chair-shaped cows. They never would have survived in the wild.

Joey: (Watching Beavis and Butthead in their barcaloungers) Is that the fire alarm?
Chandler: Yeah. (Feels the floor) Oh, it's not warm yet. We still have time.
Joey: Cool.

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