Chandler Bing Quotes
Ross. You gotta stop. You can't just stare through the peep-hole for three hours. You're gonna get peep-eye.
Ross: (About Mark) I knew it. I knew it. I always knew she liked him. You know, she'd say no, but here we are, right? We just broke up, first thing she does!
Chandler: You didn't just break up.
Ross: Hey, it's been, like, three weeks!
Chandler: You slept with somebody three hours after you thought you broke up. I mean, bullets have left guns slower.
Chandler: Chicago isn't a state.
Joey: And Mississi-Pete is?
Ross: How did the date go with Mr Millionaire?
Chandler: Mr Millionarire, new from Snooty Playthings! Third wife sold separately!
Chandler: I can blow dry it. I can put gel on it. It doesn't matter, I still wind up with this little cowlicky thing on the middle part of my head. It's so annoying. Does it bug you?
Ross: You bug me.
Phoebe: What, he's 18.
Ross: Exactly, it'll be illegal for him to drink at his own bachelor party.
Joey: Yeah or to get a hooker.
Chandler: Always illegal, Joe.
(About his briefcase) You know, I forgot the combination to this a year ago? I just carry it around.
Joey: Can I see the comics?
Chandler: This is the New York Times.
Joey: Sorry! May I have the comics.
Rachel: Oh my god! Chandler, you're smoking again.
Chandler: Shut up, you're not my real mom!
Monica: Guys. I thought you were taking Ross to the game.
Chandler: We are. He's meeting us here.
Monica: No! Rachel is meeting us here.
Phoebe: Oh come on, they can be in the same room.
Joey: Yeah, you should have been there last night.
Phoebe: Why? What happened now?
Joey: Well Ross was hanging out over at our place, Rachel comes over to borrow some moisturizer from Chandler...
Chandler: Yeah you, how hard is it to say "something?" Rachel came over to borrow "something."
Joey: Smokey Joe here got half way to the highway and collapsed.
Chandler: I have the lung capacity of a two year old. (Starts to light another cigarette)
Monica: Then why are you smoking?
Chandler: Well it's very unsettling.
Phoebe: There is no smoking in my grandmother's cab.
Chandler: In that case, I have to go to the bathroom.
