Evelyn: I forbid you to see this woman anymore.
Charlie: You forbid? What gives you the right to forbid? I'm 39-year-old.
Evelyn: I'm your mother, you are 40, and you must not see this woman anymore!
Charlie: Mom, you know that just makes me want her more.
Evelyn: Charlie I mean it!
Charlie: I'm getting hotter.
Evelyn: Look I know certain things about Gloria's past which are, well, unsavory.
Charlie: Okay, I'm going supernova.
Evelyn: Will you listen to me! If you continue to see this woman it will hurt me deeply.
Charlie: I may have to marry this girl

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• Rating: Unrated

Charlie: You're leaving too, right?
Alan: Yes, relax. I plan on spending Christmas eve at a movie theater all by myself just so you can have sex tonight.
Charlie: You could have sex too, just pick the right movie theater.

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• Rating: Unrated

Jake: Stuff never goes back in the box the way it came out.
Charlie: That's a life lesson, Jake

• Permalink: Stuff never goes back in the box the way it came out. That's a...
• Rating: Unrated

Berta [carrying more eggnog]: Here we go, more fuel for the fire.
Charlie: You said you were going home.
Berta: Well, that was before I knew you were having a party.
Charlie: This isn't a party. It's just a bunch of people I don't like, standing around, drinking my booze. Oh, crap, it is a party

• Permalink: Here we go, more fuel for the fire. You said you were going ho...
• Rating: Unrated