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Alan: You have someone who comes into your house and glues your cabinets shut regularly?
Charlie: You've met some of the whack jobs I've went out with, this shouldn't be that much of a stretch
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Look at you all grown up and back living with mom. How good do you feel about yourself right now on a scale from one to...two?
- Permalink: Look at you all grown up and back living with mom. How good do y...
Jake: If drinking makes you feel bad, why do you drink?
Charlie: Nobody likes a smart ass, kid.
Jake: You have to put a dollar in the swear jar. You said "ass."
Charlie: Tell you what. Here's a twenty. That ought to cover me until lunch
- Permalink: If drinking makes you feel bad, why do you drink? Nobody likes...
Woman [to Charlie about Jake]: You guys are really great together.
Woman: Your wife must be proud.
Charlie: Oh, no, I'm not married.
Woman: Too bad.
Charlie: Wow, you're even better than a dog
- Permalink: You guys are really great together. Thanks. Your wife must b...