Favorite Chelsea Quotes
Charlie: Tell you what. I'll trade you, site unseen, my mom for yours
Chelsea: Charlie..
Charlie: I'll even throw in Alan and a couple of Omaha Steaks
Chelsea: Do you want to explain to me why this woman is sending naked pictures of herself?
Charlie: I'd love to explain it
Chelse: ... go ahead
Charlie: I said I'd love to, I didn't say I could
Chelsea: I love you
Charlie: Great
Chelsea: Aren't you gonna say it back?
Charlie: I'm gonna go pan for cat turds. If that doesn't say "I love you," nothing does
Chelsea: What's wrong with me having a warm and a healthy relationship with your mother?
Charlie: For starters, you'll be the only one... ever!
Chelsea: Oh, don't be so dramatic
Charlie: I should be wearing tights and holding a skull... preferably hers
Chelsea: What are you doing?
Charlie: You know what happens when we spoon
Chelsea: I'm sick!
Charlie: So am I!
Charlie: How old do kids have to be before it's legal to punch them?
Chelsea: Come on, you'd never hit Jake.
Charlie: That's exactly what I want you to tell child services.
Chelsea: I just think it's ridiculous that we're engaged and we're not living together
Charlie: Well excuse me for being old fashioned. I'm just not comfortable with us living in sin
Chelsea: So you think we should stop having sex?
Charlie: No no, it's not the sin I object to, it's the living in it
Charlie: I once had an orgasm with a lawn dart stuck in my foot.
Chelsea: Do you think I'm crazy?
Charlie: No. Having sex right over the hedge across from where the kids were playing lawn darts was crazy.
Chelsea: I should never have let you go.
Charlie: Sometimes you can't appreciate what you got until you go to Mexico and don't have sex with a momma's boy.
Chelsea: You didn't tell your mom we were engaged?
Charlie: If she didn't sell me the house, she wouldn't know where I lived
Chelsea: You do realize jake just snuck out of the house...
Charlie: He's grounded, how else is he supposed to leave?
Chelsea [after colonoscopy]: How you feeling?
Charlie: Like a new fish at Leavenworth.
Chelsea: Don't be so dramatic. Good news is you have a clean bill of health.
Charlie: Yes, but I lost my water tight seal.
Chelsea: Yes, but you have peace of mind.
Charlie: Yes, but now I can't wear white at our wedding.
