Archer

Mondays 10:00 PM on FX
Archer
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Cheryl: You're all jealous of my fall-back career!"
Pam: As what, an ACTUAL acorn?

You really spent your entire inheritence on the poors?

Archer: How many times do I have to apologize?
Cheryl: Just once would be nice.
Archer: Uh, no.

Clean the secretly gay for Lucas Troy out of your ears.

Cheryl: Think about someone else for once in your life.
Lana: And that's her saying that.

It has to be your place. Mine totally reeks of ocelot piss.

Krieger: I needed help disseminating him.
Cheryl: Eww!
Pam: Not what it means.
Lana: Still pretty gross though.

Lana: Someone is trying to frame Malory for assassinating the prime minister of Italy.
Cheryl: Ooh I bet it's that wicked king.

Malory: Who taught you to drive?
Cheryl: This guy I know called my dead father.

Archer: Does no one seriously no what today is?
Pam: Tuesday?
Cheryl: The rapture?

My great-grandfather was nuts for skating. That and the Klan.

Cheryl: It tastes worse than it smells!
Pam: Man, if I had a nickel for every time I heard a guy say that, i'd have eight nickels!

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 38 in total

Archer Quotes

Bloody mary, blessed are you among cocktails. Pray for me now in the hour of my death, which I hope is soon. Amen.

Archer

Hawley: Awww screw me!
Archer: ...said Ripley to the android Bishop.

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