You really spent your entire inheritence on the poors?

Archer: How many times do I have to apologize?
Cheryl: Just once would be nice.
Archer: Uh, no.

Clean the secretly gay for Lucas Troy out of your ears.

Cheryl: Think about someone else for once in your life.
Lana: And that's her saying that.

It has to be your place. Mine totally reeks of ocelot piss.

Krieger: I needed help disseminating him.
Cheryl: Eww!
Pam: Not what it means.
Lana: Still pretty gross though.

Lana: Someone is trying to frame Malory for assassinating the prime minister of Italy.
Cheryl: Ooh I bet it's that wicked king.

Malory: Who taught you to drive?
Cheryl: This guy I know called my dead father.

Archer: Does no one seriously no what today is?
Pam: Tuesday?
Cheryl: The rapture?

My great-grandfather was nuts for skating. That and the Klan.

Cheryl: It tastes worse than it smells!
Pam: Man, if I had a nickel for every time I heard a guy say that, i'd have eight nickels!

Pam: I for one an going to watch Hooper until my fingers bleed.
Cheryl: Just tape them up.

Archer Quotes

Cheryl: What the stupid shit are you doing??
Cyril: You said you wanted watermelon.
Cheryl: Watermelon's red?
Cyril: Yes. How do you not know that?
Cheryl: Who am I? Charles Frederick Andress?

Cyril: Archer, do something!
Archer: Who am I, Alan Turing? He was also in X-Men, remember?