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Chris: Ann Perkins you really know your testes!
Ann: ...thank you?

Oh my God, your inbox is literally filled with penises.

Chris: Somebody say my name.

Jerry: Chris.

Chris: Swivel! What is it, Jerry?

Jerry: You told me to say your name.

Chris: And you did a great job superstar.

Chris: Jerry, I believe you are capable of much more.

Jerry: I'm not.

Re-elect Jan Cooper, Mayor of Whorewille.

Chlamydia affects nearly 100% of Jan Coopers.

Jan Cooper will give you Chlamydia. Brought to you by the Pawnee Department of Public Health.

Chris: Fresh lettuce is my all-time favorite food. What's your favorite food?
Andy: Oh, I take Skittles and I put it between two Starbursts. Know what I call it?
Chris: Skittle Sandwich?
Andy: ...That's pretty good. No, I call it Andy's Mouth Surprise. It's nice because the flavor of the Starbursts really bring out a similar flavor in the Skittles.

Chris: What's your favorite food?
Andy: I take skittles and I put it between two Starbursts.

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