April, way to come in! Great initiative.

I'd like you to get me some more post-its. I'd like them in multiple colors. I'd like green. I'd like yellow. Do not buy orange. I do not want orange. I have plenty of orange.

Ron: So, you love April and she has a new boyfriend, right?
Andy: You got all of that from a picture?
Chris: No, you told me yesterday.

Ben: You need a ride back to the office?
Chris: No, no. I'm going to go for a light 15K. I missed yesterday.

Chris: I had a dream. That she came into this room. Stole all my flu medicine and told me not to tell you and disappeared through that hole in the wall.
Ann: The door?

Ann: How was your run?
Chris: Ended with a five-and-a-half-minute mile. My personal low. I think the pavement in this town is soft.

Leslie: Oh I have an idea. You know what would be really fun? After dinner we should take a walk by the pond in Ramset Park.
Chris: Walking the parks can be very romantic.
Leslie: Yeah too bad the parks are always closed though.

Ben: That's right, you were coming here tonight on a date. And hey, Leslie is joining you on this wonderfully romantic occasion. How about that?
Chris: Fantastic!

Ann: I don't think I should go out with you.
Chris: Can I ask you why not? Because I thought we had a great time the night you got drunk and kissed me. And... you did use your tongue.

I know what'll loosen up our brains. Massage train. And, I know what you're thinking. It's not that I want a massage; I'll be the caboose. And Ron Swanson is the locomotive.

I think you might find me attractive because you got drunk and kissed me when we first met.

I have a resting heart rate of 23 beats per minute. The scientists who study me say my heart can pump jet fuel up into an airplane.

Parks & Rec Quotes

Ron: Indianapolis is home to Charles Mulligan's Steakhouse, the best damn steakhouse in the damn state. I have taken a picture of every steak I've ever eaten there. June 2004: Porterhouse, medium rare, Bearnaise sauce. January 2000: They call this one, The Enforcer. February '96: The steak ribeye. The Whiskey: Lagavulin 16. The lady next to me? A bitch. Specifically, my ex-wife Tammy. OK, this is the first I ever went there. Look at me. Just a kid.

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April