House: I don't think his real name is Ferris Bueller.
Martha: Why? Seriously. Who is that?
Taub: They say he's a righteous dude.

Dr. Chase: Why is it anyone's problem? I violently executed my tenth-grade geometry teacher about five different ways in my mind.
Masters: I didn't want to kill anybody. I just wanted to torture them slowly in my basement, preferably with acid. You guys ever think about what you might do to House?
Taub: Maybe it's no big deal.
Dr. Chase: Unless it is. Someone shot House.

Taub: He's doggy padding in the sea of misery. I remember what that was like.
Foreman: Yeah? How far back did you go for that memory? Last night?

Taub: Can I at least search his house for drugs?
House: Have I ever said no to that question?

Dr. Foreman: Are you wearing my tie?
Taub: I saw it in your closet, and it happened to match my shirt.
Dr. Foreman: Why were you in my closet?
Taub: Looking for a tie. What's the big deal?
House: Obviously he wants you out of the closet for some reason. I suspect marriage, but I'm liberal that way.

Dr. Foreman: You're nothing but excuses and distractions.
Taub: Well, it's a nice match with your condescension and superiority.

Taub: I'm totally fine. I aced my first pathology boards.
Dr. Foreman: Medicine's come a long way in the last hundred years.

Dr. Chase: Sorry I took off on you.
Dr. Foreman: Twice?
Dr. Chase: First one was my bad. Second one, I had no choice. It was a threesome.
Taub: They're overrated.
Foreman and Chase: (together) He's bluffing.

House: Why aren't you guys in my office?
Dr. Foreman: Why are you in the building? It's eight in the morning.
House: Where's Chase?
Taub: He's not here because it's eight in the morning.

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