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Taub: I'm totally fine. I aced my first pathology boards.
Dr. Foreman: Medicine's come a long way in the last hundred years.

Dr. Chase: Sorry I took off on you.
Dr. Foreman: Twice?
Dr. Chase: First one was my bad. Second one, I had no choice. It was a threesome.
Taub: They're overrated.
Foreman and Chase: (together) He's bluffing.

House: Why aren't you guys in my office?
Dr. Foreman: Why are you in the building? It's eight in the morning.
House: Where's Chase?
Taub: He's not here because it's eight in the morning.

Taub: Tonight after work, meet me at the basketball court in the gym.
Dr. Foreman: You do realize you're two and a half feet tall, right?
Taub: And white, and Jewish. It'd be very embarrassing. I get why you'd want to say no.

Dr. Foreman: Where are you?
House: I believe this is what your people term a poopie call.
Dr. Foreman: Uh, the word's booty.
House: Well, I don't know what you're doing, but this is a poopie call.

House: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what? I know about the Jew, the black, and the Croc Hunter, but when did we get our Asian persuasion on?
Taub: Dr. Cheng is the NICU attending on the case, and she's not here.
House: Well, then I just wasted a perfectly good racial epithet.

Taub: Dude, is this about Thirteen?
Dr. Foreman: No. Why are you calling me "dude?"
Taub: Maybe its hard seeing House replace her when you've still got feelings?
Dr. Foreman: One - I don't have feelings for Thirteen beyond friendship. Two - it's a temporary replacement. And three - dude?
Taub: It felt right.

Taub: You want me to get Cuddy's approval?
House: I've got be somewhere important.
Taub: Sitting at your desk?
House: I'm running late.

Taub: House, I was expecting your relationship with Cuddy to complicate our work long-term. I am now concerned it might be affecting us short-term. All due respect.
House: None taken.

Taub: And what's with the death's head cane?
House: They didn't have a death's ass cane in my size.

Dr. Foreman: Has anyone seen House?
Taub: It's 10:00 a.m. I'd be worried if he was here.

Taub: I am going out with Mya tonight... with Rachel's permission.
Foreman: Mazel Tov?

Displaying quotes 25 - 36 of 64 in total

House Quotes

People don't get what they deserve. They just get what they get. There's nothing any of us can do about it.

House

House: Lift up your arms. You have a parasite.
Jill: Like a tapeworm or something?
House: Lie back and lift up your sweater. You can put your arms down.
Jill: Can you do anything about it?
House: Only for about a month or so. After that it becomes illegal to remove, except in a couple of states.
Jill: Illegal?
House: Don't worry. Many women learn to embrace this parasite. They name it, dress it up in tiny clothes, arrange playdates with other parasites...
Jill: Playdates...
House: (showing her sonogram) It has your eyes.