Taub: I'm totally fine. I aced my first pathology boards.
Dr. Foreman: Medicine's come a long way in the last hundred years.

Dr. Chase: Sorry I took off on you.
Dr. Foreman: Twice?
Dr. Chase: First one was my bad. Second one, I had no choice. It was a threesome.
Taub: They're overrated.
Foreman and Chase: (together) He's bluffing.

House: Why aren't you guys in my office?
Dr. Foreman: Why are you in the building? It's eight in the morning.
House: Where's Chase?
Taub: He's not here because it's eight in the morning.

Taub: Tonight after work, meet me at the basketball court in the gym.
Dr. Foreman: You do realize you're two and a half feet tall, right?
Taub: And white, and Jewish. It'd be very embarrassing. I get why you'd want to say no.

Dr. Foreman: Where are you?
House: I believe this is what your people term a poopie call.
Dr. Foreman: Uh, the word's booty.
House: Well, I don't know what you're doing, but this is a poopie call.

House: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what? I know about the Jew, the black, and the Croc Hunter, but when did we get our Asian persuasion on?
Taub: Dr. Cheng is the NICU attending on the case, and she's not here.
House: Well, then I just wasted a perfectly good racial epithet.

Taub: Dude, is this about Thirteen?
Dr. Foreman: No. Why are you calling me "dude?"
Taub: Maybe its hard seeing House replace her when you've still got feelings?
Dr. Foreman: One - I don't have feelings for Thirteen beyond friendship. Two - it's a temporary replacement. And three - dude?
Taub: It felt right.

Taub: You want me to get Cuddy's approval?
House: I've got be somewhere important.
Taub: Sitting at your desk?
House: I'm running late.

Taub: House, I was expecting your relationship with Cuddy to complicate our work long-term. I am now concerned it might be affecting us short-term. All due respect.
House: None taken.

Taub: And what's with the death's head cane?
House: They didn't have a death's ass cane in my size.

Dr. Foreman: Has anyone seen House?
Taub: It's 10:00 a.m. I'd be worried if he was here.

Taub: I am going out with Mya tonight... with Rachel's permission.
Foreman: Mazel Tov?

House Quotes

You know another really good business? Teeny tiny baby coffins. You can get them in frog green or fire engine red. Really. The antibodies in yummy mummy only protect the kid for six months, which is why these companies think they can gouge you. They think that you'll spend whatever they ask to keep your kid alive. Want to change things? Prove them wrong. A few hundred parents like you decide they'd rather let their kid die than cough up forty bucks for a vaccination, believe me, prices will drop really fast.

House

You're an ass!

Dr. Adams