I'm 5'6" and have a receding hairline. I hate genetics.

Taub: So the only time you're interested in my marriage is when you can blow it up?
House: You're the moron who took marital advice from Tila Tequila.

Functional open marriage is like a unicorn. It's a mythical creature that doesn't exist. Someone always ends up unhappy.

Taub: Fighting's not brave. It's just stupid.
Dr. Chase: You would say that.
Taub: You think I've never been in a fight?
Dr. Chase: No, I just think you never won one.
Taub: I took on three guys in college once.
House: Hope they bought you dinner first.

Thirteen: Pig order with a side order of sphincter.
Taub: I think they call that breakfast in Australia.

Taub: It's not exactly sanitary.
House: The fun stuff never is.

Foreman: We both have a lot of regrets.
Taub: You should be proud of yours. Your life is trending upwards.

Foreman: You really wanna get inside his head?
Taub: Yeah, but I decided against stabbing myself in the leg and getting addicted to pain pills.

Taub: What if we just snoop on our boss?
Foreman: I can live with that.

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