Well just because I can't feel anything shouldn't mean everyone else should have to endure humiliation. I'll help you.

Chuck: Forgive me for stating the obvious, but isn't being published a writer's goal?
Dan: Not for this book. It's a scathing social satire. About everyone I know, including you.
Chuck: [smiles] The return of Charlie Trout.

Dan: Well how about instead of pain you try to feel good things. I could tickle you.
Chuck: I'd rather hire someone else to do that, thank you.

Chuck: That's what you don't understand. I feel nothing when I see her and Louis. Or when I jump off a building or when I crash a motorcycle. Even you don't irritate me.
Dan: Well having these guys beat you up isn't the way to fix anything. You could have died.
Chuck: Is being dead that much worse than being nothing?

Chuck: I wasn't trying to kill myself.
Dan: Then what the hell were you doing?
Chuck: I was hoping it would hurt.
Dan: What, to dull the pain of losing Blair?

Dan: Hey! I'm not part of his payment plan.
Chuck: Sorry. Mr. Bass said nothing should stop us except his safe word.
Dan: Well his is serious. He could die.
Chuck: All this be madness, yet there is some method in it. [gets kicked again] Guess that wasn't the safe word.
Dan: Chuck. Chuck. Tell them to stop.
Chuck: Okay. Fine. "Stop."
Dan: Stop? Really? That's it?

Gossip Girl: A kiss is just a kiss.
Chuck: That hurt? Wish I could feel it.
Gossip Girl: Poor Lonely Boy. Even on the outer boroughs of love.

Nate: I just can't stop thinking about that woman from LA.
Chuck: It's understandable, given your mother issues.

Chuck: You must have very been relieved when you realized you weren't carrying my offspring. It certainly would have derailed your fairytale.
Blair: This fairytale is complicated.
Chuck: Blair. Meet my dog, Monkey.

Chuck: If this is another misguided attempt by Dan to make me feel something...
Blair: I'm pregnant. It's Louis's. I didn't want you to find out from someone else and wonder if the baby was yours.
Chuck: That's very considerate.
Blair: Yes. Well. If I know anything about Chuck Bass, it's that fatherhood isn't part of the lifestyle.

Blair: I need to talk to you.
Chuck: I thought we said everything we needed to say last time we saw each other.

There's nothing more boring than a sense of morality, Humphrey.

Gossip Girl Quotes

And who am I? That's one secret I'll never tell ... You know you love me. XOXO, Gossip Girl

Gossip Girl

[to Jenny] That's the thing. You need to be cool to be queen. Anne Boleyn thought only with her heart and she got her head chopped off. So her daughter Elizabeth made a vow never to marry a man. She married a country. Forget boys. Keep your eye on the prize, Jenny Humphrey. You can't make people love you, but you can make them fear you. For what it's worth, you're my Queen. I choose you.

Blair