Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern-family

Claire: Luke, honey, come back I said I was sorry.
Luke: I'm 12, I need limits.

What, are you going to the ball Cinderella? Live a little.

Kids these days get trophies just for showing up. What's that gonna lead to? A bunch of thirty year olds living at home.

Gloria: I said I was sorry! But I've had them since I was two. Huge ones!
Phil: What is she...?
Claire: Earrings, Phil. Earrings.

Please don't let me screw up our son!

Wait! There's the esteem-building parent right there. Wait! I think I hear future Lily sending us a message from her stripper pole. Thanks gay-dad dads; this dance is for you!

Cameron

Phil: You're just a worrier, like when you thought he was never gonna talk.
Claire: He was two, and all he could do was bark.
Phil: I understood him.

Luke: One time, she gave me a Woody.
Claire: Sweet J...
Luke: She remembered he's my favorite character from Toy Story.

Mitchell: Did we come at a bad time?
Claire: Come back in five years and seven months when they're all gone!

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