Modern Family
Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABCClaire Dunphy Quotes
Honey don't you think it's weird that one of your friends is an 80-year-old man?
Claire: Oh thank God, here comes Phil and the butterball.
Manny: Hey, I have a name!!
Listen to me, your whole life has led to this moment. All the training, the hours of dedication, there's not a soul alive that can touch you when it comes to shopping and baby you know it. Look at me, be you!
Phil: If I had a son I'd want him to be like Kenneth.
Claire: You do have a son.
Mitchell is turning Gloria into mom.
Haley: Did my 3rd grade teacher say I have ADD or something.
Claire: No honey she said you couldn't A-D-D because she also knew you couldn't S-P-E-L-L.
I just wanted to spend my night with some fun gay people. It's not my fault this one decided to be straight!
I want music and dancing and secondhand smoke!
Claire: Alright ladies. Go home, roll up your hair and clap off the lights because this guy, who I just met, is gonna show me a good time.
Mitchell: If he was straight this would be just like high school.
When did you two become such old women?
I have 3 kids, I've been tired since 2005.
I take my eye off the ball for one minute and I've got one kid in a coma, one with a black eye, and one running a crime ring.
