Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern-family

Phil: My wife is always so tired and she's always making lists of things for me to do.
Claire: Maybe if you did them she wouldn't be so tired.
Phil: Oh no, she could make lists for days.

Phil: I'm in town for a trade show. I design high-end electro-acoustic transducers.
Claire: Wow, that is very specific.

I have this theory that Phil purposely installs complicated technology so he has a reason to talk to me like I'm a child.

Claire: Who's our dumbest kid?
Phil: Luke.

Claire: We're gonna pass into legend. The parents who canceled Christmas.
Phil: I thought you'd be happy.
Claire: They'll write songs about us. They'll make a Christmas special with those ugly little clay pieces.

Claire [to kids]: Which one of you was smoking?
Phil: Not me, I have a respiratory problem.
Claire: Obviously, not you.

Phil [about Luke]: He's one of those kids you get him a gift and all he wants to do is play with the box.
Claire: One year we just got him a box, a really nice box
Phil: And we made the mistake of putting it in a gift bag.
Claire: So he played with the gift bag.
Phil: We can't get it right.

Phil loves Spandau Ballet. That song "True" was playing in the car the first time we kissed. It's our song.

I'm fairly confident that Dad's proudest moment was when you finally took off the flame-red unitard

Phil [about Luke]: I'm telling you that kid is a genius, there's a rainmaker
Claire: Why is your iPod in your mouth?
Luke: I'm charging it
Claire: Alex. Alex!

Mitchell: You had your own moments. You had cheerleading, and high school plays, and making out with the quarterback...
Claire: Oh come on, you made out with him, too.
Mitchell: Yeah, but we had to keep it a secret.

Luke already is the best at something. Being my son ... That sounded a lot less lame in my head.

Displaying quotes 133 - 144 of 160 in total

Modern Family Quotes

I'm sort of like Costco. I'm big, I'm not fancy and I dare you to not like me.

Cameron

You can't have two fun parents... You know that kid Liam who wears pajama pants to school and pays for things with a hundred-dollar bill? Two fun parents.

Claire
x Close Ad