Turk: Surgery is long, tedious and boring.
Cole: Oh I get it, like episodes of Entourage that revolve around Turtle.

Cole: I already know what i'm going to call my surgical practice. Cole Cutz.
Turk: With a z?
Cole: That's right! Man, you gotta knock before you enter Cole's brain.

Do you believe in fate? Like the stuff they talk about in the boring parts of Lost.

I always thought a surgeon would hook me with some sweet calf implants or a robot arm, but I never thought one would save my life.

Cole [impersonating Lucy]: I think horses should go into space.
Lucy: I never said that. Why would I want fewer horses on Earth? That's crazy.

Lucy, it's not cancer cancer. That kind of cancer is for uglies and people who put laptops on their balls.

Check it, I put orange soda in my IV bag, I'm like a hamster yo.

It was awesome. Lucy beat the crap out of Trey. Best girl fight I've seen since I paid those two lady janitors to wrestle.

Lucy: Drew, you're our leader, let's get this going.
Drew: Get what going? I rarely listen to you people.
Cole: Seriously Big D, if I fail out of here I have to go to med school in the Caribbean. Dude, I don't speak Caribbesian, so tell us what to do!

This place is straight up Chuck Norris, tough as balls.

Lucy: What's your seecret [to staying young]?
Cole: Shae butter, big floppy sun hats. Oh and I made a deal with a witch.

Babe, I can read you like the back of a DVD cover.

Scrubs Quotes

J.D. [to Cox]: you won't admit this, but you're in love with Carla.
Carla: No, he's not.
Dr. Cox: Actually, I am.
Carla: You're starting again.
J.D.: And Carla, you're mad that Turk didn't trust you enough to tell you.
Turk: See? Trust, woman, trust!
J.D.: Whatever. The point is that Turk is sorry.
Turk: Not anymore!
Carla: I can't believe you thought he was a threat.
Dr. Cox: I'm a threat!
Carla: You're not in love with me, you idealize me.
J.D.: Can we just try and stay focused...
Turk: You're mad 'cause I'm scared of losing you?
Carla: Yes, because we're stronger than that!
Dr. Cox: Apparently not!

J.D.: My man Turk, is getting it daily and nightly and ever so rightly! Ah! What up, dogg!
J.D.'s narration: Once every 4.2 seconds a man says something stupid that a woman hears and punishes him for... luckily, this wasn't one of those times.
Carla: What did you just say?
J.D.: "What up...dogg?"