Seinfeld

Cosmo Kramer Quotes (Page 9)

Newman: Wow, it was McDowell.
Jerry: But why? Why McDowell?
Kramer: Well, maybe because we were sitting in the right field stands cursing at him in the bullpen all game.
Newman: He must have caught a glimpse of us when I poured that beer on his head.
 • Rating: Unrated

Kramer: Hernandez spit at us.
 • Rating: Unrated

George: I am not a chucker! I Never have chucked! Never will chuck! No chuck! Kramer, am I a chucker?
Kramer: Oh, you're a chucker, buddy.
 • Rating: Unrated

Newman: June 14, 1987.... Mets Phillies. We're enjoying a beautiful afternoon in the right field stands when a crucial Hernandez error to a five run Phillies ninth. Cost the Mets the game.
Kramer: Our day was ruined. There was a lot of people, you know, they were waiting by the player's parking lot. Now we're coming down the ramp... Newman was in front of me. Keith was coming toward us, as he passes Newman turns and says, "Nice game pretty boy." Keith continued past us up the ramp.
Newman: A second later, something happened that changed us in a deep and profound way front that day forward.
Elaine: What was it?
Kramer: He spit on us.... and I screamed out, "I'm hit!"
Newman: Then I turned and the spit ricochet of him and it hit me.
 • Rating: Unrated

Kramer: Hey you know this is the first time we've ever seen each other naked?
Jerry: Believe me, I didn't see anything.
Kramer: Oh, you didn't sneak a peek?
Jerry: No, did you?
Kramer: Yeah, I snuck a peek.
Jerry: Why?
Kramer: Why not? Hey, what about you George?
George: Yeah, I ... I snuck a peek. But it was so fast I didn't see anything. It was just a blur.
Jerry: I made a conscious effort not to look. There's certain information I just don't want to have.
 • Rating: Unrated

Kramer: (breaking up a fight between Jerry and George) The next one of you that opens up your mouth and says something, you're gonna have to deal with me!
 • Rating: Unrated

Kramer: (breaking up Jerry and Elaine's fight) Can't you two see that you're in LOVE with each other?
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Jerry: Let me ask you something. How long do you have to wait for a guy to come out of a coma, before you can ask his ex-girlfriend out?Kramer: Gina? Why wait? Why not just call Dr. Kevorkian?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Kramer: What kind of a man are you? The guy is unconscious in a coma and you don't have the guts to kiss his girlfriend?
Jerry: I didn't know what the coma etiquette was.
 • Rating: Unrated

Kramer: Did you hear about Martin?
Jerry: Yeah, I heard.
Kramer: I can't believe he's in a coma. He's got my vacuum cleaner. You know I loaned it to him. He never returned it. The carpets are filthy. What am I going to do?
 • Rating: Unrated

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