Creed Bratton Quotes
Dwight: Extraordinary events call for extraordinary actions. We form an allegiance-
Dwight: -to use sudden violence.
Dwight: Do you have the tools to turn a wooden mop handle into a stake?
Creed: What size?
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Karen: You can't give paper clips to a baby. He might swallow them.
Creed: Oh it's okay, I've got tons of them.
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Michael: And another thing about the Indian people, they love sex positions. I present to you the Kama Sutra. I mean look at that. Who has seen that before?
Creed: I have. That's the Union of the Monkey.
Meredith: Oh, that's what they call it!
Kevin: This is the best meeting that we have ever had.
Michael: Thank you, Kevin.
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Creed: It's a real shame about Ed, huh?
Michael: Yeah. It must really have you thinking.
Creed: About what?
Michael: The older you get, the bigger the chances you're gonna die. You knew that.
Creed: Ed was decapitated.
Creed: He was drunk as a skunk. He was flying down Route 6. He slides under an 18 wheeler. Pop. Snaps right off.
Michael: Oh my God.
Dwight: That is the way to go. Instant death. Very smart.
Creed: You know, a human can go on living for several hours after being decapitated.
Dwight: You're thinking of a chicken.
Creed: What did I say?
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Creed: Just looking.
Pam: Please go back to your desk.
Creed: In a minute.
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[referring to Angela, to longtime co-worker Meredith] Andrea is the office bitch. You'll get used to her. [extends hand] Creed.
- Permalink: Andrea is the office bitch. You'll get used to her. Creed.
I'm not offended by homosexuality. In the 60's I made love to many, many women - often outdoors, in the mud and the rain... and it's possible a man slipped in. There'd be no way of knowing.Creed
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Michael: I am going to donate to Afghanistanis with AIDS.
Jim: Oh, I think you mean the Aid to Afghanistan.
Michael: No, I mean Afghanistanis with AIDS.
Michael: That's a dog.
Pam: No, that's afghan.
Michael: That's a shawl.
Dwight: Wait, canine AIDS?
Michael: No, humans with AIDS.
Creed: Who has AIDS?
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[after winning the fridge] I've never owned a refrigerator before.Creed
- Permalink: I've never owned a refrigerator before.