I couldn't hear you over the sound of this gigantic freakin' tank!

Well, one's thing for sure. If I had to do it over, I'd be a dictator.

(imitating Malory) Cyril, shut up and find the vehicle..meh-heh-heh...I'm a hateful shrew.

Lana: You think I'm Ally Sheedy?!
Cyril: Ally Sheedy would have been WAY more likely to get pregnant in High School.

Cyril: Archer! Alligators or your mother?
Archer: What's the difference? They're both cold-blooded, prehistoric monsters

Archer: Whatever happened to "Team Archer?"
Cyril: Please tell me that was never a real thing to you

Cyril: Well, you did set the raft on fire.
Ray: Oh my God, you always take his side!
Cyril: I never, ever, EVER take his side!

Cyril: If you finish that sentence, I'm going to rub cocaine in your eyes till you are blind.
Ray: Goddamn, Shawshank!

Cyril: How do you not know the different kinds of porn?
Archer: Because I have sex with actual women, Cyril! My girlfriend's not equal parts the internet, a tube of Kentucky jelly, self-loathing and a sock!

Cyril: You could pose him with Woodhouse
Krieger: God knows he's a little GILF.

Cyril: He can't come in without a warrant - well, unless you invite him in.
Archer: He's not a vampire, idiot. Plus it's daytim

Cyril: Only if you promise to periodically micromanage it and emasculate me.
Malory: Cyril. I would have thought that goes without saying.

Archer Quotes

Cheryl: What the stupid shit are you doing??
Cyril: You said you wanted watermelon.
Cheryl: Watermelon's red?
Cyril: Yes. How do you not know that?
Cheryl: Who am I? Charles Frederick Andress?

Cyril: Archer, do something!
Archer: Who am I, Alan Turing? He was also in X-Men, remember?