Need I remind you that Jeremy once had an affair with a ghost? The only thing that was missing was a sappy love song and a pottery wheel.

All I know is that right now I wanna rip your clothes off right here in the middle of this hall and throw you in one of these classrooms and kiss every square inch of your body, while a bunch of people who drive minivans listen wishing they were us.

I happen to like my old sadistic self?

Stefan: Come on Damon, you're better than this.
Damon: On the contrary brother, I'm better like this.

Bonnie: She would kill you.
Damon: Cool and then me and all her dopplegangers can start a baseball team on the other side.

Can't Luke whip up a batch of herbs with Bonnie flavor?

I definitely blew that up about an hour ago.

Why isn't there any booze in this empty retro-ville?

Damon [to Bonnie]: Did you ever think for one second that it's you being negative reacting to my natural self negatively?
Bonnie: You're ridiculous.
Damon: No I'm consistent.

First of all, don't nickname. That's my thing.

I would tell Elena how much I love her. And then apologize for killing you.

Damon: I'm not trying to screw up your dumb new life!
Stefan: You don't have to try Damon. All you have to do is exist. Because no matter what I do or where I go, you will be with me forever, trying to destroy every single thing that I build.

Vampire Diaries Quotes

Oooh, you know I don't know. Every time we try and go on a date you get kidnapped, I get sent to a prison world, or your feelings get compelled away...

Damon

Damon: My new girlfriend. Andie Starr. Action News.
Alaric: It's not called Action News.
Damon: I know. I like just saying it.