Did I say that I was a germaphobe? Sorry, I meant vampire.

Meredith: Tell me that is not a bomb.
Damon: Okay, it's a kitten. It's an adorable, exploding kitten.

Good day for a mid-life crisis. 164 years, I'd say you're due.

Damon: You know what they are? Children. Like lighting a candle's going to make everything OK, or even saying a prayer. Or pretending Elena's not going to end up just like the rest of us murdering vampires. Stupid, delusional, exasperating little children. And I know what you're going to say: 'It makes them feel better, Damon.' So what? For how long? A minute, a day? What difference does it make? Because in the end, when you lose somebody, every candle, every prayer is not going to make up for the fact that the only thing you have left is hole in your life where that somebody that you cared about used to be. And a rock with a birthday carved into it that I'm pretty sure is wrong. So thanks, friend. Thanks for leaving me here to babysit. Because I should be long gone by now. I didn't get the girl, remember? I'm just stuck here fighting my brother and taking care of the kids. You owe me big.
Alaric: I miss you too, buddy.

Damon: I'm gonna go rip his head off now.
Stefan: You do that, Damon, and you risk exposing all of us.
Damon: Well I think the risk will be slightly diminished when I, you know, rip his head off.

Little mid-service snack. Church always gets me hungry. You know, whole blood of Christ thing.

We love visitors and the scenery is to die for... Oh. Funeral pun. Too soon.

Pick your meal. You've got Asian fusion... Mexican... What about some good old American comfort food?

Am I wearing my 'I blew up the Council' t-shirt?

Vampires eat people! It's part of the natural food period.

You better hope she's not a fan of Bambi.

I'm going to pretend like there's someone there because the alternative is too damn depressing.

Vampire Diaries Quotes

He's your first love. I intend to be your last. However long it takes.

Klaus [to Caroline]

Stefan Salvatore. Why Stefan? Why didn't you go for Damon? Or do you enjoy them both? Like Katherine did.

Isobel