Alaric [on Andie]: Just don't killer her, please.
Damon: If I did, who would report her death?

Damon: My new girlfriend. Andie Starr. Action News.
Alaric: It's not called Action News.
Damon: I know. I like just saying it.

Stefan: Thank you.
Damon: No, Stefan, thank you. You're back on Bambi blood, and I'm the big bad-ass brother again. All is right in the world.

Alaric: You always have to be invited in?
Damon: By the owner or person of entitlement. Short-term rentals and hotels are a bit of a gray area. You kinda gotta play it by ear.

Damon: You came here to kill me?
Jeremy: Well, it's only fair. You killed me first.

Stefan: I had a chance to kill her and I hesitated.
Damon: Well, that is the fork in the road between you and me, my friend. I don't hesitate.

Have fun with Mystic Queen. I know I did.

Damon: First dad duty: gound your daugther, keep her here.

Damon: You need to stop doing that.
Elena: Doing what?
Damon: Assuming that I'll play the good guy, because it's you who's asking.

Elena: You totally blew her off.
Damon: I'm staying clear of all women at the moment.
Elena: You don't have to be rude.
Damon: Trust me, it's in the best interest of women everywhere.

You better start talking or I will kill you in your sleep.

Elena: Be the better man.
Damon: Ok then.

Vampire Diaries Quotes

You want a love that consumes you. You want passion and adventure, and even a little danger... I want you to get everything you're looking for. But for right now, I want you to forget that this happened. Can't have people knowing I'm in town yet. Goodnight, Elena.

Damon

Damon: You know what they are? Children. Like lighting a candle's going to make everything OK, or even saying a prayer. Or pretending Elena's not going to end up just like the rest of us murdering vampires. Stupid, delusional, exasperating little children. And I know what you're going to say: 'It makes them feel better, Damon.' So what? For how long? A minute, a day? What difference does it make? Because in the end, when you lose somebody, every candle, every prayer is not going to make up for the fact that the only thing you have left is hole in your life where that somebody that you cared about used to be. And a rock with a birthday carved into it that I'm pretty sure is wrong. So thanks, friend. Thanks for leaving me here to babysit. Because I should be long gone by now. I didn't get the girl, remember? I'm just stuck here fighting my brother and taking care of the kids. You owe me big.
Alaric: I miss you too, buddy.