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Tyler: You're a joke, Damon.
Damon: Says the guy pining for the girl who slept with Klaus.
- Permalink: Says the guy pining for the girl who slept with Klaus.
Bonnie: She would kill you.
Damon: Cool and then me and all her dopplegangers can start a baseball team on the other side.
Stefan: Come on Damon, you're better than this.
Damon: On the contrary brother, I'm better like this.
- Permalink: On the contrary brother, I'm better like this.
I happen to like my old sadistic self?
- Permalink: I happen to like my old sadistic self?
You are literally the best person I've ever known. And for me to think I could ever change you was giving me way too much credit and you way not enough… you're the good. And I need a little good in my life.
Enzo: Do you wanna kill him or should I?
Damon: I hate deadlines.
- Permalink: I hate deadlines.
Damon: You once told me that calling me "Satan" was an insult to Satan.
Caroline: Well... no one's perfect.
- Permalink: Well… no one's perfect.
The nicest thing that Katherine Pierce will ever do is feed the maggots that feast upon her flesh.
Stefan: Define "out."
Damon: One who hovers and sticks his nose in other people's business. Wait... I was defining "annoying."
Alaric: You honestly think I'd leave Damon in charge and not look back?
Damon: He's talking about me, isn't he?
Jeremy: He says you're a dick.
- Permalink: He says you're a dick.
Katherine Frickin Pierce can have a selfless moment, and I can't?
- Permalink: Katherine Frickin Pierce can have a selfless moment, and I can't?
Matt: Who spends two years pining after a girl?
Damon: I can hear you, dumbass.
- Permalink: I can hear you, dumbass.