Dan Humphrey Quotes
Charlie: I know from experience what it's like to watch from the outside as someone else walks away with the person you want.
Dan: Yeah, I just never thought the person I want would be Blair Waldorf.
Charlie: Neither did Serena.
Charlie: I saw the kiss. I think you really like her.
Dan: You might be right. I've been trying to convince myself that I could handle being friends with her, but I realized tonight that I can't.
Serena: So you guys have been lying to me and sneaking around for months so you could hang out as friends?
Blair: Exactly. Friends.
Dan: Yeah, I swear. Just friends.
Serena: Well I'm really glad you two found each other because you sure lost me.
Serena: But you guys are my two closest friends. Why couldn't you just tell me that?
Dan: I was hoping it would go away.
Blair: I was humiliated. Which is why we kissed.
Dan: To make sure nothing else was going on to complicate us or hurt you.
Serena: And?
Blair: Biggest regret of my life.
Dan: I mean that's a little bit of an overstatement, but yeah, it was not a good kiss.
Serena: I don't understand. How did you end up in a kiss in the first place? Any kiss?
Dan: We both were alone over Christmas break.
Blair: And we ran into each other at the movies.
Dan: And then it kept happening after the break, only we started making plans to meet.
Blair: And even worse. Enjoying it!
Dan: For someone who's just a friend you're really good at choreographing reasons for us to kiss.
Blair: That's because I'm willing to suffer for love.
Dan: Whatever you say. Just don't get too handsy.
Charlie: No no. Don't let Sarah Palin ruin it for you. Alaska is amazing.
Dan: I don't know. But between Into the Wild and that Werner Herzog movie with the grizzly, I don't think it's for me.
Blair: You clear on the plan?
Dan: Yeah, I think I'll be fine once I figure out what a butler's pantry is.
Blair: You're a cater waiter. You know exactly what a butler's pantry is.
Blair: We are going to stage a private, intimate moment for Louis to stumble upon. And when he realizes he has nothing to worry about, he'll go back to Paris leaving Louis behind. For me.
Dan: No way.
Blair: I thought you were my friend.
Dan: I am. Which is why I'm going to point out to you what a bad idea this is. For starters, Serena's going to be at this party.
Blair: She's staying with Lily tonight.
Dan: Fine. Then everyone else in the world will be at this party. We'd have to tell Serena.
Blair: Absolutely not. You and I faking a kiss? Do you really want to have that conversation with Serena?
Dan: It can't be half as painful as this one.
Dan: Blair, I swear I had no idea. Some magazine editor called me out of the blue to hire me to write an article on your prince, and I swear I backed out the minute I knew he was with you.
Blair: Oh you should have been suspicious the minute someone wanted to pay you for your writing. That wasn't an editor, it was one of Louis' royal handlers. And your desperate need for literary validation cost me the greatest date of my life.
Blair: Meet me at Paul Smith's in half-an-hour. You know why and you should be ashamed of yourself.
Dan: How did you find out?
Blair: I always find out. Just be there.
Vanessa: So all my heartfelt attempts to save our friendship had no impact, but the aroma of cheese and dough turned you instantly sentimental?
Dan: They do say that sense of smell is most associated with memory.
