Gossip Girl

Dan Humphrey Quotes (Page 17)

Eric: Who do you want to spend Valentine's Day with?
Dan: Blair. No, it's not... no no no, It's not like that. I need her help with something.
Eric: You could be waiting a long time.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Eric: I have a hot date with a vehicle filled with hot meals. I would feel sorry for myself except I am delivering food to people too sick to cook.
Dan: Hey, at least it would be original.
Eric: Jonathan was never one for clichés.
 • Rating: Unrated

Eric: Hey, thanks for meeting me.
Dan: I'm surprised my dad and Lily let you out of the house, even for food.
Eric: Oh, well it might have something to do with my volunteering. Or voluntary drug testing. Look, the schnitzel's on me. I'm sorry about lying last week.
Dan: Oh, thanks. Have you heard from Damien?
Eric: Oh, no, actually. Knowing the ambassador, after you told him he was dealing I'm sure he had him exiled to some very cold, very distant country.
 • Rating: Unrated

Blair: As you can see, I don't have time to read faux-ticles by wannabe writers.
Dan: Blair. Please. I'll apply for another internship if I have to and get back in the ring with you. You remember our wrestling match?
Blair: How about you apply yourself to a job more within your breeding? Isn't there a Bat Mitzvah girl somewhere in need of a Shirley Temple?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ben: I don't know about the cater waiter me, but the teacher me thinks maybe you should step out from behind the computer and find out who the new Epperley is. Give her the article in person.
Dan: Hm. The new Epperley. I hadn't thought about that.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ben: It's a good thing Serena and I decided not to do anything for Valentine's Day. I can't afford to take her out anyway.
Dan: Well you already read how awkward I feel about this, but, um, with me she was always happy to just play pool and drink beer.
Ben: Right now I couldn't even afford to do that.
Dan: Ah, well. You know when I used to work for a catering company. They could always use an extra hand around a holiday. I could make a call. It's good money. And no offense, but judging from my past co-workers I think they have a "don't ask, don't tell" policy regarding felons.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dan: How's the job search going?
Ben: Having to check the "Have you ever committed a felony?" box kind of limits my options. But yours seem to be improving. I'm sorry if I overstepped, the article was just sitting there. Being single while living with a guy seeing your ex. You really nailed the awkwardness.
Dan: Yeah, well, it's very fresh.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dan: Waldorf. Where's the new Epperly?
Blair: You're looking at her.
Dan: Oh God, what'd you do to her?
Blair: She's in a better place.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Damien: Archibald. Humphrey. What are you guys doing here?
Dan: Well we came looking for Eric.
Nate: We ran into your dad instead. He's a nice guy. I mean, at least he was to us. How he is to you after what we told him might be different story.
Damien: Wait! You guys realize what you've done? My dad's gonna cut me off!
 • Rating: Unrated

Dan: I don't know where to begin.
Ben: How about I'm sorry?
Dan: I didn't think that would be enough.
Ben: I'm pretty easy.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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