Blair: I'll start with Chuck. Pros: he truly has become a good man.
Dan: Cons: he's slept with every woman in New York. It could get a little awkward at dinner parties.
Blair: Sometimes fun. Don't judge.

Dan: I saw your photo in the paper. Is everything okay?
Blair: Everything is horrible. I need to go to Louis and reassure him that he's never going to lose me but something is stopping me.
Dan: Chuck is stopping you.
Blair: No. I haven't even spoken to Chuck.
Dan: You don't have to. You have some strange force field effect on each other. Physicists should study it.

Gossip Girl: I guess it's time for me to accept that if you want something badly enough you have to go out and get it yourself.
Dan: Hey, I was wondering what you were doing today.
Blair: Coming to stay with you, actually.
Dan: Uh... okay.
Gossip Girl: Watch out, kids. The end of me just might turn out to be the end of one of you.

Dan: Blair's getting married and having a baby with Louis. And if she wasn't with Louis she'd be with Chuck, not me.
Rufus: Maybe. Even if Blair doesn't feel the same way, it might be worth it for you to tell her how you feel. At least so you can move on.

Serena: That's great about the second print of Inside. You'll be able to figure out the afterword.
Dan: I'm not so sure though. I've never been stuck like this before.
Serena: What? It seems like an amazing opportunity to see how the book changed you, how it changed everyone.
Dan: Did it really change anyone?
Serena: Yes! Seeing where our characters ended made us realize exactly where we didn't want to be. nate didn't want to be half a person and now he's running The Spectator. And Chuck went from dying alone to therapy.
Dan: What about you?
Serena: Well I thought I'd change my ending by getting the job with Jane or this blog, but the truth is I'm still making horrible decisions in my love life.

Dan: I'm starting to understand the appeal of heroin or womanizing or whatever it is that writers do when they can't write.
Serena: It's hard to find inspiration when you're not trashing your friends, huh?
Dan: Well at least I don't have the added pressure of it being turned into a movie. So thank you for that.

Charlie: It's way too generous. Especially after everything I put you guys through with Max.
Lily: Oh please. That was not your fault. That young man had a lot of problems.
Dan: Hm. No wonder Serena was so into him.

It was one thing to feel like my book wasn't exactly appreciated in the Upper East Side—I expected that—but then the readings on the tour, they were less and less full. In Hartford I think like ten people showed up, and half of them were there to get out of the rain. My book is a failure, Dad. I'm a failure.

Rufus: People who still go to book stores are real readers. They don't care if a book's on some best-whatever list.
Dan: Yeah, it seems that way. Turn out's been great.

Alessandra: If it makes you feel better, there's a Twitter called HumphreyLove too.
Dan: That's me.
Alessandra: Sorry. I should have recognized your scalpel-sharp self-deprecation.
Dan: I have over a thousand followers.
Alessandra: Let's hope they bought books.

Rufus: That's it. I stayed quiet while you crashed bridal showers and skipped out of book tours. I was hoping with enough time and support you'd realize that even though your book didn't do as well as you'd hoped, you still had your whole future ahead of you. Being a shut-in is not bouncing back.
Dan: I was defending my honor.

Dan: I was hoping we could talk more about the movie.
Jane: What movie. It's dead. If you want to know why, talk to your friend Serena.

Gossip Girl Quotes

Even Blair Waldorf can not bend DNA to her will.

Dan

Hazel: Do you know what you're doing, Little J?
Jenny: I'm not Little J anymore.