Serena: How was the movie? Did I miss something amazing?
Dan: Even without the movie.
Serena: (laughs) Don't be cocky!

Blair: (Answering Serena's cellphone)Who dare interrupt the Van Der Woodsen as she teaches?!
Dan: Dan...Humphrey (As Blair and Serena argue about the phone in the background)
Blair: Sorry, the number you dialed is no longer is service.
Serena: Stop it, who is it?
Blair: I'm doing you a favor.
Dan: Look I can hear you. Can I just please talk to Serena?
Blair: Apparently you can, cabbage patch

Blair: Serena send you here to talk to me?
Dan: No, believe it or not, I actually came here myself.
Blair: (sighs) Normally, wouldn't be this close to you without a tetanus shot.

Serena: (seeing Dan walking up to her with a plate) You're still here?
Dan: Yeah, well, I thought I couldn't leave without bringing you something from craft service. Um, and, uh, and telling you that I'm sorry I judged you.
Serena: Well, I'm sorry I gave you reason to.
(Dan smiles a little)
Serena: Hey, how about you ask me out again?
Dan: How about you actually show up?
Serena: (smiles) Okay. No drama. No disruptions. I promise.
Dan: You promise? Oh, no! That means it's never gonna happen now.
Serena: Aah! Okay, quick. I take it back. I unpromise.
Dan: Friday. 8:00.
Blair: (walking up to them) I think we can agree to those terms...but you can't wear those shoes. Mmm, or that hair.
Serena: Blair.
Dan: (laughs) Oh.
Serena: Okay, see you then.
Blair: Eww. (turns away as Serena kisses Dan on the cheek and hugs him)
Dan: All right. (smiles and walks away)

Chuck: This isn't over.
Dan: Any time. That one black eye looks a little lonely.

Look, man, I live in Brooklyn. Not the Ozarks. No offense to the Ozarks.

Dan: I hope you had a pleasant 21 hours since I last saw you.
Lily van der Woodsen: Yes, it has been very pleasant. Until now.

Jenny: The real question is, so how are you?
Dan: Me? Why wouldn't I be okay?
Jenny: You know, at end of the night with Serena and the...
(Jenny gives Dan a awkward wave)
Dan: Was it really that bad

Jenny: I mean, how could I have actually thought Chuck Bass just wanted to talk to me?
Dan: Becuase you trust people. Which is normally a good thing.
Jenny: Yeah, except when it involves Chuck.
Dan: Yeah pretty much

Dan: Think I got a shot at a second date?
Serena: I don't think you could top this one.
Dan: Well, I did punch someone.

Serena: You asked me out on a date and you didn't think I was nice?
Dan: No, I just thought you were hot. And, technically, you asked me out.

Dan: You'll really go out with some guy you don't know?
Serena: Well, you can't be worse than the guys I do know.

Gossip Girl Quotes

Even Blair Waldorf can not bend DNA to her will.

Dan

Hazel: Do you know what you're doing, Little J?
Jenny: I'm not Little J anymore.