Blair: I have an itch that only Chuck can scratch and he won't oblige unless I tell him I love him.
Dan: You need help getting Chuck to sleep with you? Really?
Blair: [to Serena] You hear the judgment in his voice right now right?
Serena: He's working on that.

Dan: DO you love him?
Blair: NO! No, of course not.
Dan. So why don't you just say it to get what you want? Frat guys have been doing that since ... forever.
Blair: I can't! If I say it then Chuck wins.
Dan: But... if you say it then you get him and you win.

Blair: I was thinking I'd just disappear for awhile. Give him a taste of life without me.
Dan: No, that's a terrible idea. Don't disappear. Become unavoidable. Chuck may be a deviant but he's still a man. Drive him crazy. Wear him down. You should be good at that.
Blair: Look who finally got a little interesting.
Dan: I'm sure it's a fluke.

You ever think your mom acts like she's perfect because she's too far from it to acknowledge that she's not?

Jenny: It's so weird that you're on a team now. Pretty soon you're going to have actual guy friends.
Dan: What are you talking about? I have plenty of guy friends.
Jenny: Dan, I know that you're Mr. Soccer now, but you and I both know you prefer to hang out with girls.

Chuck: Humphrey. Never a pleasure.
Dan: Oh good, we agree on something!

Dan: I'm good with just one.
Chuck: You're either in for the full ride, or you're out.
Dan: [pauses] Okay, pass me the shots.
Chuck: That's just a chaser.
Dan: What is that?
Chuck: Does it matter? Down the rabbit hole, then we go out the door.

If I have to exploit people to be a good writer, then maybe I don't want to be a good writer.

Who knew there was a sex club behind the White Castle?

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