I want to leave quietly, it seemed dignified. But having Kevin grind up on my front, while Erin pretended to hump me from behind, it was a more accurate tribute to my years here. I'm gonna miss these guys.

Me and Val were going nowhere and if I'm gonna be working in Philly, I'm gonna need my freedom. So, I convinced Val to breakup with me. Here's how you do it. You say, "What are you gonna do, breakup with me?" Like it's a joke, and then you gain a lot of weight.

It's not real until your wife is on board.

Darryl: We have a voluntary meeting in the conference room to talk about Erin's...confidence.
Andy: Her body.

Darryl: What flavor is that?
Warehouse Guy: Coconut Penis.

Darryl: Ryan was douche bag.
Ryan: Hey that's not a code name that's just an insult.
Oscar: Plus, everyone would know who you meant.
Ryan: Yeah.

Just so you know, me and you, I don't think that's ridiculous. Dot dot dot, dot dot.

Darryl: Would it be more hilarious than Angela having a Chinese baby?
Kevin: A little bit. Yeah. Right guys? Back me up.

Dwight: What is your goal?
Darryl: Help me!
Dwight: What do you want?!
Darryl: To look good for Val!
Dwight: Val Kilmer?! I don't buy it; that doesn't make any sense!...Wow...We figured out your goal...I am gonna make you the buffest dude Val Kilmer has ever seen.

I meant dressed up compared to normal. You usually dress like a ghostbuster.

Dwight: What do you want?!?!
Darryl: To look good for Val!
Dwight: Val Kilmer?!? I don't buy it. That doesn't make any sense.

Darryl: I figured I'd start slow.
Dwight: Is that the same philosophy you apply to buffalo wings?

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 60 in total

The Office Quotes

I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them.

Andy

If onlys and justs were candies and nuts, then everyday would be un de donkfest!

Dwight
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