Season 6, Episode 8: "Koi Pond"
Darryl: You're not as scary as Bookface over there.Jim: Yes. I am the popular social networking site known as Bookface.
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Michael: Kids, just remember, suicide is never the answer. Alright? It is the easy way out. You are not alone. [gives the thumbs up]
Darryl: What the hell is wrong with you?
Michael: Who wants candy?
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Season 6, Episode 2: "The Meeting"
Darryl: Toby! Dwight! You come to my house? Bust up my trash cans? Call my baby sister an a$$hole and tell her to eat dog food?Dwight: We thought she was you.
Darryl: How would you think a lady is me?
Dwight: [pause] Are you serious? Because you look exactly alike?
Toby: I don't see it.
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Season 5, Episode 19: "Golden Ticket"
Michael: Sir. I placed a bunch of golden tickets into five separate boxes and some how they all ended up with Blue Cross. How does this happen?Darryl: Were the boxes near each other?
Michael: Irrelevant.
Darryl: I put three pallets on the truck to Blue Cross once a week. They use a lot of paper.
Michael: OK, I'm going to ask you something and I want you to be honest. What is a pallet?
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Michael: Hey. Hey. Hey. You idiot.
Darryl: Start over.
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Season 5, Episode 7: "Customer Survey"
Michael: Hey, sport.Dwight: I heard someone got engaged, you dog, huh? [punches Michael's shoulder]
Michael: Ow! God!
Dwight: Oh, nothing can hurt you now. You're a man in love!
[cut to Darryl]
Darryl: I was there. That dude is not engaged. I'm not a big believer in therapy, but I'll go into my own pocket to cover his co-pay.
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Season 5, Episode 5: "Crime Aid"
Roy: Halpert?Darryl: What's up, Roy?
Jim: Hey man.
Roy: I'm not gonna hit you or anything.
Jim: Oh, I wouldn't ...
Roy: You good?
Jim: I'm good. How you doing?
Roy: I'm good.
Jim: Yeah, okay.
Roy: Hey Darryl, what's happenin'?
Darryl: Oh, what's up, Roy?
Roy: Hey, what's up, guys? How you been?
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Michael: Um, so, Darryl, and the boys in the hood in the warehouse, have graciously donated to, uh, go out for a beer with them right now. You know what, I'm actually going to bid on this. I'm going to start the bidding, because this is something that I have dreamt of-
Darryl: Mike, you can't do that. It's conflict of interest.
Jim: Five dollars.
Darryl: Sold! To Jim.
Michael: Okay. Okay, sold! Have fun, you guys. Well, this next item is sure to spring steam from your ears if you don't win it. It just says "Creed."
Creed: Yeah, that's all-inclusive.
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Darryl: Mike gave me a list of his top ten Springsteen songs. Three of them were Huey Lewis and the News. One was Tracy Chapman, Fast Car. And my personal favorite, Short People.
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Season 5, Episode 4: "Baby Shower"
Darryl: You should stop calling yourself "baby daddy."Michael: Why, Darryl, because I'm quote white quote unquote?
Darryl: Because you're not a daddy, and it's not your baby.
Michael: Well-
Darryl: You feel connected to his baby over there?
Michael: It's ... that's different.
Darryl: You feel connected to this? [holds up a back brace]
Michael: That's not a baby.
Darryl: You want to hold me, to see how you feel?
Michael: Could I?
Darryl: No.
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Total Quotes: 27
