Dean: Rory, don't go.
Jess: Well, geez man. She's not shipping off to 'Nam.

Richard: How tall are you, anyway?
Dean: Why, you want to dance?
Richard: No, thank you. (thinks about it) But I appreciate the offer though.

Rory: Why aren't you saying anything?
Dean: Words seem to be very dangerous right now.

Lorelai: Hey Dean. Do you want some fries?
Dean: No, I'm actually going home for dinner. My mom made fried chicken tonight and she saved me some.
Lorelai: Oh, you have a cooking mom.
Rory: That's so nice.
Lorelai: Well, she may make chicken, but is she a casual dater?
Rory: I hope not. She's married.

(at Doose's)
Tristin: (to Dean) Excuse me stockboy, could you tell me where I can find the shortening? Now, that is a fine looking apron. I mean it, I mean, really sensational.
Dean: What are you doing here?
Tristin: Well, to be honest, there's something I wanted to ask you. (holds up two bags of flour) In your professional opinion, which one of these would make my cakes fluffier?

Sookie: Are you sure this is Shakespeare?
Dean: What's with all the grunting?
Lorelai: I wish Luke was here, he could translate for us.

Rory: So?
Dean: So what?
Rory: It's good, isn't it?
Dean: It's the Rock-n-Roll hall of fame induction.
Rory: And doesn't Neil Young look cool?
Dean: I guess.
Rory: And you'll notice he's wearing a tux.
Dean: Neil Young looks cool because he's Neil Young, not because he's wearing a tux.
Lorelai:(on phone with Emily) I don't have to ask her Mom, I know the answer... I know the answer... yeah, no, I don't have to... yeah, hold on. (to Rory) Rory, would you like Grandma's hair stylist to come and set your hair before the ball? (Rory makes a face) Oh, I did not coach her, Mom. Go back to talking about gloves!
Rory:(to Dean) I think you're going to look great in a tux.
Lane: Tails.
Dean: What?!
Lane: Yeah, according to this, all escorts must be properly attired in black tails, white cumberbuns and white gloves.
Dean: What?!
Rory: I'm sure the gloves are optional!
Lane: Not according to this.
Dean: Tails? Gloves?
Rory: Remember Neil Young. Remember that you love me. Remember that I'll be watching battlebots with you for a month!
Dean: Show me Neil Young again.

Rory: Battle bots!
Dean: For life!

Lorelai: See; now only a lady can gracefully walk around a room with a book on her head while eating Kung pow chicken. I mean a great lady can even spit the peanuts back into the container without anyone noticing.
Rory: Wow!
Lorelai: Yeah, well don't be intimidated. You have to practice and practice to get to my level.
Rory: Anyone want the last egg roll?
Dean: Err...no!
Lorelai: Hey, where are you going?
Rory: To get the last egg roll.
Lorelai: Getting the egg roll yourself?
Rory: Yes!
Lorelai: No, ladies never get their own egg rolls, ladies never get their own anything they don't even get their own ideas.
Rory: Oh Boy!
Lorelai: They just sit helplessly and wait for some young strong man to come by and assist them. They don't step in puddles, they don't step over puddles, and they can't even look at puddles. They actually need to be blindfolded and thrown in a sack and carried over puddles.
Rory: Isn't there a moratorium on how long ladies are supposed to talk?
Lorelai: Errno! Now repeat after me "I am completely helpless".

Rory: So what do you think?
Dean: I think you look like a cotton ball.
Rory: Why, thank you, Jeeves.
Dean: But a really cute cotton ball.

Dean: Go with their bits.
Max: Their bits?
Dean: Yeah. Like, if you're eating pizza with them, and Lorelai decides that the pepperoni is angry at the mushrooms because the mushrooms have an attitude, and then she holds up a pepperoni and the pepperoni asks for your opinion, don't just laugh. Answer the pepperoni.

Emily: So, what would everyone like to drink?
Lorelai: Uh, well, I'll have a white wine and Dean'll have a beer.
Dean: What?! (taken by surprise)
Lorelai: Corona, right?
Dean: (completely panicked) No, I don't want a beer! I don't drink beer. I'll have water or soda or anything. Or nothing. Not beer. Never beer. Beer is... beer's bad.
Emily: Relax Dean, that's just Lorelai's little sense of humor. (to Lorelai) You're very cruel.
Lorelai: Well, yes, keeps me young.
Dean: I'm just gonna sit here and stare at my hands.
Emily: Soda Dean?
Dean: Please.
Emily: Rory?
Rory: Oh, I'll have a beer. (Emily and Lorelai laugh) I'm sorry Dean, we're not laughing at you.
Lorelai: Oh wait, I think I was.
Emily: I think I was a little too. (Richard walks in) Oh Richard, there you are. Come join us.
Lorelai: Hey Dad.
Rory: Grandpa, hi. This is Dean. Dean, this is my Grandpa.
Dean: Hi. Sorry, uh, hi. (he gets ups and walks over to Richard)
Richard: Hello.
Dean: (offers to shake his hand) It's uh... it's nice to meet...
Richard: (ignores Dean's hand) Does everyone have drinks?
Lorelai: Uh yeah, we all have drinks. Thanks.
Dean: (he moves back to his seat and whispers to Lorelai) Should we do the beer thing again?
Lorelai: Uh, I don't think so.

Gilmore Girls Quotes

Lorelai: Hi, Mom.
Emily: Lorelai, my goodness, this is a surprise. Is it Easter already?
Lorelai: (sounding uncomfortable) No, I just, uh, finished up my business class and I thought I would stop by.
Emily: To see me?
Lorelai: Yes.
Emily: Well, isn't that nice. Come in.
Lorelai: Thanks.
(They walk to the living room.)
Lorelai: The place looks great.
Emily: It hasn't changed.
Lorelai: Well, there you go. How are the girls at the bridge club?
Emily: Old.
Lorelai: Well... good.
(Lorelai and Emily sit, opposite to each other)
Emily: You said you were taking a business class?
Lorelai: Yeah, mmhmm, yeah. I'm taking a business class at the college twice a week. I'm sure I told you.
Emily: Well, if you're sure then you must have. (she pauses) Would you like some tea?
Lorelai: I would love some coffee.
Richard: (calling from another room) Emily? I'm home.
Emily: We're in here.
(Richard walks into the living room)
Lorelai: Hi, Dad.
Richard: What is it, Christmas already?

Lorelai: (speaking to Luke) Wow, you look nice. Really nice.
Luke: I had a meeting earlier at the bank. They like collars. You look nice, too.
Lorelai: I had a flagellation to go to.
Luke: So, what'll you have?
Lorelai: Coffee, in a vat.
Rory: I'll have coffee also. And chili fries.
Luke: That's quite a refined palate you got there.
(Luke walks to the counter)
Lorelai: (to Rory) Behold the healing powers of a bath.