Dean Pelton Quotes
Shirley: Is this a bad time?
Dean Pelton (speaking as Jeff): I'm at Greendale, stuck in the body of a man who could be Gollum, so yeah, I'd say it's half past suck.
This awkward silence has been going on for days! Granted, Jeffrey looks amazing when he broods, but this has got to stop!
Dean: The perfect mix of low intellect, limited ambition, and limitless parental support.
Jeff: So, a rich dum-dum who will never graduate and keep dropping money into the school indefinitely. Got it.
Pierce Hawthorne has taken 80% of Greendale's classes twice. He is the only Greendale student who has ever paid for a premium locker or the extended pencil warranty.
Thank you, Pierce Hawthorne, for your special blend of playful racial humor and genuine thoughts on Geraldine Ferraro.
I first met Chang when I hired him as a Spanish teacher at Greendale. Then he became a disgraced student, a psychopathic music major, a homeless vent dweller, a security guard, keytarist, power-hungry war lord, and, now, Kevin. It's sad to see him like this. Well, it's mixed. He was pretty terrible before.
Jeff: I thought I told you to stop reading my emails.
Dean Pelton: Well, I thought I told you to stop keeping secrets!
I've got Friends with Benefits... no subtext.
Britta: This is a lock of my hair.
Troy: Creepy.
Official: Nobody can sit on something this big.
Dean: IIIII'll sit on it.
Annie maybe you could say something nice about Star Burns, some sugar to go with that spice?
Come on I'm dean and my hands are so clean at this moment, I am stapling something.
