Venture Brothers
Sundays 11:30 PM on Cartoon NetworkDean Venture Quotes
Dean: Hank, I had my pubes shaved! I'm going to put them under my pillow for the Tooth Fairy.
Hank: Did the doctor see that creepy dog-dork?
Dr. Venture: Hank, don't brag to your brother about his circumcision
Dean: Question #1: You're in Prague, a snipers in the window above you, there's an alligator behind you, and a grizzly bear in front of you, what do you do? Do you...
Brock: Back somersault, pry off the alligator's jaw, use it as a boomerang to take out the sniper. He falls out the window, the grizzly will go straight for the easier meal
Hank: Brock your training starts now! [gives Brock a glass of raw eggs] When I'm through with you you're gonna eat lightning and crap thunder!
Dean: Looks more like he's gonna eat eggs and crap....eggs
Brock, I think I figured out why the plane crashed - there were skeletons driving it!
Hank: Nice spyclothes, douche
Dean: What? I didn't have any black, I figured cowboy - next best thing to spies, right? [
Hank: Dude, what is with you!? Why are you so calm about this?!?
Dean: Because, Hank, we're not just any poor suckers, we're the Venture Brothers. Our dad's a super genius, with, like, chemistry stuff. He can fix this no prob.
Brock: Dean, we don't even know where your dad is. He's sequestered in some secret think tank, and this is, well, this is kinda outta his league, honestly...
Dean: We're all gonna die!
Pirate Captain: So where is this 'Brock' guy?
Dean: He's..hiding..and..waiting to save me!...with...guys.
Pirate Captain: You're..not a very good liar, Dean, are ya?
Dean: Mayyyybe!
Dean: Dad is super serious all of a sudden. Do you really think he's in as much danger as he says he is?
Brock: Oh yeah, he's screwed. I give him about an hour before he panics and begs for us to haul him up.
Dr. Venture: Okay guys, I can hear all this!
Dean: You scheme was very clever, very clever indeed, but he's no ghost!
Pirate Captain: Oh ya think genius? What tipped you off - was it the huge zipper, maybe the rubber mask? But you had to kill him anyways. If you'd played by the rules - the ghost pirate rules - and just run away, none of this would be happening! But nooo, you had to go nuts and kill a guy!
Triana: So how come I don't see you at school?
Dean: I'm kinda home-tutored in a box my pop made. It sometimes gets very hot in the box....my pop made.
Triana: Wow, that's, um...that's screwy.... Crap, did I upset you?
Dean: Penguins have an organ above their eyes that converts seawater into freshwater
Dr. Venture: Dean what the hell are you doing in there? I need to take a shower!
Dean: I'm practicing being a boyfriend, Pop!
Dr. Venture: Never mind, Dean!
Triana: Who's that big guy who's always washing his car in front of your place?
Dean: Oh, that's Brock. He's my dad's bodyguard. One time, I saw him kill a guy with a sock full of party snaps!
Triana: Did the guy's head get blown off?
Dean: Yes it did
