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Charlie: Ah, I mean I wish I could go back in time and do the right thing, you know?
Dee: Like be there for her?
Charlie: No get her an abortion.
- Permalink: Ah, I mean I wish I could go back in time and do the right thing...
Charlie: Come stand next to me, then.
Charlie: So she doesn't think I'm creepy.
Dee: Well, you are creepy.
Charlie: I realize this. That's why I need you.
- Permalink: Come stand next to me, then. Why? So she doesn't think I'm c...
Tommy: You have to buy me a toy.
Charlie: I don't have to buy you shit.
Tommy: If you don't buy me anything, I'm going to tell my mom you took me to a black people's house.
Charlie: Wow! Oh, my God! That's racist. What do you, what do you say to that?
Tommy: You still have to buy me a toy!
- Permalink: You have to buy me a toy. I don't have to buy you s**t. If y...
Sweet Dee: How could you not tell me you were gay?
Terrell: I'm a musical theater actor!
- Permalink: How could you not tell me you were gay? I'm a musical theater ...
Dennis: It's because of those bison fingers.
Dee: I do not have bison fingers!
Frank: Yeah you do. Your mother had to have a c-section because of those hands.
- Permalink: It's because of those bison fingers. I do not have bison finge...
Dee: Who slams a door?
Dennis: That guy has some real growing up to do. Have some repect for Christ's sake... I am legend.
- Permalink: Who slams a door? Babies. That guy has some real growing up ...