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Charlie: Ah, I mean I wish I could go back in time and do the right thing, you know?
Dee: Like be there for her?
Charlie: No get her an abortion.

Charlie: Come stand next to me, then.
Dee: Why?
Charlie: So she doesn't think I'm creepy.
Dee: Well, you are creepy.
Charlie: I realize this. That's why I need you.

Tommy: You have to buy me a toy.
Charlie: I don't have to buy you shit.
Tommy: If you don't buy me anything, I'm going to tell my mom you took me to a black people's house.
Dee: Okay.
Charlie: Wow! Oh, my God! That's racist. What do you, what do you say to that?
Tommy: You still have to buy me a toy!

Sweet Dee: How could you not tell me you were gay?
Terrell: I'm a musical theater actor!

Dennis: It's because of those bison fingers.
Dee: I do not have bison fingers!
Frank: Yeah you do. Your mother had to have a c-section because of those hands.

Dee: Who slams a door?
Frank: Babies.
Dennis: That guy has some real growing up to do. Have some repect for Christ's sake... I am legend.

Displaying quotes 109 - 114 of 114 in total

It's Always Sunny Quotes

Naked pics online? That's disgusting. On a website? There's so many of them though. Where? Which one?

Mac

Principal: I'm a little confused, are you telling me this photo of Bruce Jenner is your resume?
Charlie: Well, when I showed up this morning I didn't have a formal resume on me so i was sort of hoping the photograph of Mr. Jenner could represent the standard of excellence I'm hoping to bring to his position.
Principal: And you're looking for a job as a substitute teacher?
Charlie: Substitute janitor.

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