We gotta stop pussy-dicking around here. It's time to get in the bunker.

You are not eating a hoagie. You are just jamming meats and cheeses in your mouth.

Dee [to Frank]

Dee: I'm not scammin' the government if that's what you're saying.
IRS lady: Your license plate says SCAMMIN.

You guys all better eat a dick 'cause Sweet Dee beat the system.

Pop your teeth in!

Those mothers just left their kids here in a bar with complete strangers in a pageant that's under investigation.

It's a horrible town. It's a horrible town with horrible people.

Dee: I hate this town, Dennis, I hate this town.
Dennis: It's understandable. You are missing a piece of your scalp.

We're drinking tequila out of sunscreen bottles.

You downed that bottle of schnapps like it was a soda pop.

Dee [to Roxy]

Charlie, stop wearing clothes you find washing up under bridges.

Dee: What if we took a "Pretty Woman" and threw it Roxy's way?
Frank: It was a bullsh*t movie. People don't change like that.
Mac: People change, Frank. Look at me. I went from a tiny twink to the muscle bound freak you see before you.
Dee: You're not helping my argument.
Dennis: Okay, yea. And if you're going to chime in please don't do it with a mouth full of burrito.
Mac: This is a chimichanga.
Dennis You are becoming a chimichanga!

It's Always Sunny Quotes

Frank: I opened up to a therapist just once. I was a kid. I got into a fight. The doctor asked me question after question, got me so scrambled up. Next thing I know, I was shanghai'd upstate to a nitwit school. You know what a nitwit school is?
Therapist: I assume you mean a school for the mentally disabled.
Frank (spits pistachio shell): Yeah, not just for nuts in the head, but bodies, too. Back then science was real crude, they stuck us all together. My roommate was a frog-kid. You ever see a frog-kid?

No I don't eat dragon, cause, uh, it's not a meal for peasants, it's a meal for kings, and I'm sort of a common man. But they don't eat us, it's a common misconception. They actually eat gold and treasure -- that's why they're always sitting on a pile of it.

Charlie