We gotta stop pussy-dicking around here. It's time to get in the bunker.

You are not eating a hoagie. You are just jamming meats and cheeses in your mouth.

Dee [to Frank]

Dee: I'm not scammin' the government if that's what you're saying.
IRS lady: Your license plate says SCAMMIN.

You guys all better eat a dick 'cause Sweet Dee beat the system.

Pop your teeth in!

Those mothers just left their kids here in a bar with complete strangers in a pageant that's under investigation.

It's a horrible town. It's a horrible town with horrible people.

Dee: I hate this town, Dennis, I hate this town.
Dennis: It's understandable. You are missing a piece of your scalp.

We're drinking tequila out of sunscreen bottles.

You downed that bottle of schnapps like it was a soda pop.

Dee [to Roxy]

Charlie, stop wearing clothes you find washing up under bridges.

Dee: What if we took a "Pretty Woman" and threw it Roxy's way?
Frank: It was a bullsh*t movie. People don't change like that.
Mac: People change, Frank. Look at me. I went from a tiny twink to the muscle bound freak you see before you.
Dee: You're not helping my argument.
Dennis: Okay, yea. And if you're going to chime in please don't do it with a mouth full of burrito.
Mac: This is a chimichanga.
Dennis You are becoming a chimichanga!

It's Always Sunny Quotes

Dee: You've been really stressed so I thought I'd take you to a spa day. Just the two of us.
Charlie: A what day?
Dee: Spa day
Charlie: What is this word, spa? I feel like you're starting to a say a word and you're not finishing it. Spaghetti? Are you taking me to a spaghetti day?

Charlie: what is your spaghetti policy?
Dee: Are you hearing this? He doesn't belong in a place like this.