It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Thursdays 10:00 PM on FX
Its always sunny in philadelphia
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Mac: This brings me no joy at all. I feel nothing. I feel like you stole money from me and bought a shirt.
Dennis: With your money. That is what happened.

Charlie: It's like whole generations of those things have died at my hands. Mothers, fathers, grandfathers, little baby rats.
Dee: Well, you know, keep up the good work.
Charlie: Sometimes, I wonder though, if our lives are reaaly more valuable than theirs. You know what I mean?
Dennis: Yeah they are. Our lives definitely are without a doubt.

Mac: A lot of great actors have done blackface.
Dennis: There's countless examples of very classy actors doing black face. We got the great C. Thomas Howell in Soul Man. We got the Wayans Brothers in White Chicks. That was a very tasteful example of reverse blackface.

Charlie: It's either him or me.
Mac: Him.
Dennis: Yeah. I was gonna say him too. You know, it's always been him. I don't know why I didn't see that before.
Charlie: I'm out of the gang!?
Mac and Dennis: Him.

Charlie: Hey, you're stilling living with your mom? that sounds kind of lame.
Schmitty: Well, it's the M.S. that's really lame. you know
Dennis: Oh, your mom has Multiple sclerosis..
Schmitty: Yeah she's doing alright. I moved in with her to take care of her. Really get to know her before she moves on.
Charlie: That story is kind of a downer.

Charlie: You pushed him out of a moving car and yelled, "You're out of the gang!"
Mac: Now, in hindsight, that does seem kind of rash.
Dennis: It was kind of a snap decision.

Dennis: You are dressed like the Phantom of the Opera. He's not a vampire.
Charlie: He eats theater people.
Denis: No, he doesn't.
Mac: I think he might.
Frank: He does.
Dennis: Do you even know who the phantom of the opera is?
Mac: He might not.
Frank: He doesn't.
Charlie: I don't.

Dennis: It's fatness, plain and simple. It's a person becoming fat before your very eyes.
Charlie: And I don't even know how to make the bird jokes anymore. They no longer apply.
Dee: I'm not fat, I'm pregnant!
Mac: I feel like you say that all the time now.
Frank: You better do yourself a favor and flush it out.
Charlie: Wait a second, you definitely said that before.
Mac: Since we're all saying things we say all the time. I'll just reiterate. Dee, we don't care about you, or your body, or that baby bird.

Dee: Just so I'm clear, you don't actually think things are going to come alive because you're spending the night in museum, right?
Dennis: I'm sorry, we're simply opening ourselves up to the possibility of an amazing adventure this evening. Is there something wrong with that? Whether that means Charlie running into his ancient spirits or us running away from security guards all night, it's gonna be a really great time.

Dennis: I'm a fixer, Frank. It's what I do.
Frank: You're good. we should hang out more.
Dennis: Stop trying to bond with me.

Dennis: Mrs. Mac has a unique and earthy fragrance.
Mrs. Mac: I smell like shit.

Frank: Deandra will take care of me.
Dennis: Dee's not gonna take care of you. You just chased her out of here with a pool cue because she had a little cough.

Displaying quotes 97 - 108 of 168 in total

It's Always Sunny Quotes

Naked pics online? That's disgusting. On a website? There's so many of them though. Where? Which one?

Mac

Principal: I'm a little confused, are you telling me this photo of Bruce Jenner is your resume?
Charlie: Well, when I showed up this morning I didn't have a formal resume on me so i was sort of hoping the photograph of Mr. Jenner could represent the standard of excellence I'm hoping to bring to his position.
Principal: And you're looking for a job as a substitute teacher?
Charlie: Substitute janitor.