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House: Come here so I can talk you out of it?
Chase: Came to say thank you.
House: It's been fun.
Chase: Fun?
House: Sounded pithier than "we've shared a variety of situations."

House: It's an 80 oz. steak.
Wilson: I'm hungry.

If we had a phone, we could have found a place a lot less charming.

Wilson: Tomorrow I'm leaving work behind to chase my boyhood crush.
House: The years have not been kind to David Cassidy.

Chase: I'm looking at her.
Park: Um, I'm looking at him.
House: Good. Now lick your lips.

Relax. I'm a doctor. Your spectacular breasts mean nothing to me.

For a moment I thought you were uncomfortable with Chase because you had a nocturnal Australian.

Wilson: You are a horrible person.
House: All I need is to break up one marriage. You broke up three of your own. You're like the Stephen Hawking of killing relationships.

Adams: You can juggle. I fail to see how this would benefit you.
House: What if I'm busy?

Thank you, Butterscotch. Is that a family name?

35 year old male who cries blood and is not Vampire Bill. Go!

Chase: I was doing something nice.
House: Umm...ohhh...no, that doesn't sound right.

Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 552 in total

House Quotes

People don't get what they deserve. They just get what they get. There's nothing any of us can do about it.

House

House: Lift up your arms. You have a parasite.
Jill: Like a tapeworm or something?
House: Lie back and lift up your sweater. You can put your arms down.
Jill: Can you do anything about it?
House: Only for about a month or so. After that it becomes illegal to remove, except in a couple of states.
Jill: Illegal?
House: Don't worry. Many women learn to embrace this parasite. They name it, dress it up in tiny clothes, arrange playdates with other parasites...
Jill: Playdates...
House: (showing her sonogram) It has your eyes.