TV Fanatic Works Better with Prime Instant Video
Try it Now for Free and Instantly Watch House.

Dr. Park: Why am I watching you cut your hair?
House: New life, new look.

[after his ankle monitor went off] I thought the bracelet was decorative. My aunt had one just like it. Wait a minute...

Prison! Sorry, I thought I heard everyone thinking it.

I specifically requested my wake-up-startle 3 hours from now.

I'm trying to listen to your lungs, not your self-pity.

Belief implies a level of giving a crap I am never going to achieve.

Me and humanity--we got together too young.

You think one of Santa's reindeer was called 'Stomper'?

That look of shock is elitist and offensive. Doctors can be degenerates too. This is America.

House [to Dr. Adams]

Mendelson [regarding House's special attention to his cellmate]: Why you keep helping him out?
House: Yeah, why would I want to make sure that my homicidal cellmate is taking the right anti-psychotics?

You wanna know how I feel? I feel hurt.

Cuddy: I haven't dated anyone since you.
House: You know what they say, once you go gimp...

Displaying quotes 73 - 84 of 552 in total

House Quotes

People don't get what they deserve. They just get what they get. There's nothing any of us can do about it.

House

House: Lift up your arms. You have a parasite.
Jill: Like a tapeworm or something?
House: Lie back and lift up your sweater. You can put your arms down.
Jill: Can you do anything about it?
House: Only for about a month or so. After that it becomes illegal to remove, except in a couple of states.
Jill: Illegal?
House: Don't worry. Many women learn to embrace this parasite. They name it, dress it up in tiny clothes, arrange playdates with other parasites...
Jill: Playdates...
House: (showing her sonogram) It has your eyes.