Dr. Park: Why am I watching you cut your hair?
House: New life, new look.

[after his ankle monitor went off] I thought the bracelet was decorative. My aunt had one just like it. Wait a minute...

Prison! Sorry, I thought I heard everyone thinking it.

I specifically requested my wake-up-startle 3 hours from now.

I'm trying to listen to your lungs, not your self-pity.

Belief implies a level of giving a crap I am never going to achieve.

Me and humanity--we got together too young.

You think one of Santa's reindeer was called 'Stomper'?

That look of shock is elitist and offensive. Doctors can be degenerates too. This is America.

House [to Dr. Adams]

Mendelson [regarding House's special attention to his cellmate]: Why you keep helping him out?
House: Yeah, why would I want to make sure that my homicidal cellmate is taking the right anti-psychotics?

You wanna know how I feel? I feel hurt.

Cuddy: I haven't dated anyone since you.
House: You know what they say, once you go gimp...

House Quotes

Unsquint your eyes.


I killed a man.