Maura: It is so clean in here you could eat off the tables.
Jane: Let's not.

Jane: Do you ever worry that you'll sound pretentious?
Maura: No.

Maura: Instant! You served me instant?
Jane: I'm so tired you're lucky I didn't serve you Drano.

He disappears for three months and now I'm suppose to just drop everything to be a groupie at his book signing?

I always wanted a mother like you.

Maura: I don't like confrontations.
Jane: That's why you're the good cop.
Maura: Oh, right and you're the beat your face in cop.

Maura: I'm going to make you eat something green tonight.
Jane: OK, I'll get extra pickles on my burger.

What a shame to get married in a polyester blend.

Maura: I just think it's fun to play fantasy wedding, don't you?
Jane: If you're five.

Don't be mean because your mattress is still on top of your car.

Why can't we dress like call girls? They look so cute.

What are we going to wear? I have never been a high class hooker before.