Popular Dr. Zoidberg Quotes
Zoidberg: Now open your mouth and let's have a look at that brain. No, no, no, no, no, not that mouth!
Fry: I only have one.
Zoidberg: Really?
Leela: Thank you all for the inspiring advice, but I'm perfectly happy with my life the way it is.
Bender: That sounds like a cry for help.
Amy: Let's all take her out tonight. There's lots of great places to meet people.
Hermes: The Federal Sex Bureau.
Bender: A saucy puppet show.
Zoidberg: The rotting carcass of a whale.
Amy: Hmm, I'll pick!
Zoidberg: I'd like a jumbo squidlog please.
Man: We don't sell those.
Zoidberg: All right, all right, let me have one of your young on a roll.
Man: We're out of rolls.
Zoidberg: Fine! Just give me something crawling with parasites.
(The guy hands Zoidberg a hot-dog and he scarfs it down noisily)
Fry: Mmm! At least hot-dogs haven't changed.
Zoidberg: (sniffing) That stench! That heavenly stench! (eats the entire pizza with anchovies on it) More.
Fry: There aren't any more, and there never will be.
Zoidberg: More! More! MORE! MORE!!
Prof. Farnsworth: I'm sorry, Fry, but the anchovy has been extinct since the 2200's.
Fry: What?
Prof. Farnsworth: Oh, my, yes. Fished to death. Just about the time your people arrived on Earth wasn't it, Zoidberg?
Zoidberg: I'm not on trial here.
Fry: So none of you has ever had anchovies? Oh, man! You don't know what you're missing. They were all salty and oily and they melted in your mouth and-
Zoidberg: Stop! Stop! I admit it! My people ate them all! We kept saying "One more can't hurt" and then they were gone. We're sorry!
Fry: What the hell is that?
Bont: It's the Juice-A-Matic 4000. It'll strain my juices from you while filtering out the pulp. By which I mean, your shredded remains.
Zoidberg: Of course! Why didn't I think of that!
Zoidberg: Relax, Fry. I'll simply spin you in a high-speed centrifuge, separating out the denser fluid of His Highness.
Fry: But won't that crush my bones?
Zoidberg: Oh, right, right, with the bones! I always forget about the bones.
Merg: Ah, there you are, Your Majesty. It's time to begin preparing for tomorrow's coronation ceremony.
Zoidberg: A fancy dress gala! I'll wear my formal shell.
Amy: I don't think you have anything to worry about. These people seem really mild-mannered.
Zoidberg: They are mild. In fact, you're soaking in one right now.
(Amy screams and takes her finger out of the glass. Gorgak appears from it)
Gorgak: You touched me in ways I've never been touched before.
Fry: That's the saltiest thing I've ever tasted. And I once ate a big, heaping bowl of salt!
Bender: Oh, come on! That food was fine! The salt content was 10% less than a lethal dose!
Zoidberg: Uh oh. I shouldn't have had seconds.
Zoidberg: Let's face it! We're in hot butter here!
Bender: Cram it lobster!
Fry: Uh, is there a human doctor around?
Zoidberg: Young lady, I'm an expert on humans.
