The Office

Dwight Schrute Quotes (Page 11)

Dwight: Bigger the key chain, more powerful the man.
Jim: That's right...janitor said that.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Dwight: Schrute sperm are strong. But not as strong as a fully-grown Schrute.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Dwight: [on his money] I don't want to dig past a certain someone to get it.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dwight: How do I apply?
Gabe: You have to be a minority.
Dwight: Uh, glasses wearers? Cholera survivors? Geniuses? Non-organic family farmers? The list goes on and on you want me to keep going?
Gabe: Those don't really count. We're thinking more, ethnic and racial minorities.
Dwight: Come here, come here. Ten seconds ago this guy was driving a forklift, OK? Now all of a sudden he's Cinderella of the office. What are you guys thinking?
Darryl: I like the sound of this. Maybe someday I'll be sitting in Michael's chair. Wouldn't that be something.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dwight: Speaking of rainbows, Oscar, you are, kind of a double minority. Gay. So, we at Sabre could really benefit from your perspective.
Oscar: Dwight. We know Kelly applied. We're not going to cross her. No matter how good the program is.
Dwight: I can protect you from Kelly.
Erin: [scoffs]
Dwight: Will you get out of here? Seriously!
 • Rating: Unrated

Dwight: Well, obviously, she's, brown-ish but, come on I mean Darryl is far more, ethnic.
Gabe: Darryl withdrew his application. The dates of the Yale program interfered with his softball league so, he's gone.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dwight: One minority from this branch is going to get into this program. Who would I prefer? Hmm. A competent hard-working one who does things his own way? Or the malleable simpleton who can be bought for a few fashion magazines?
 • Rating: Unrated

Dwight: I don't understand why Michael is wasting his time with Spanish. I have it on very good authority, that within 20 years everyone will be speaking German. Or a Chinese-German hybrid.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Dwight: Kelly will be even worse than Darryl. If you'd have told me this morning that today I'd be creating a monster capable of my own destruction, I'd have thought you were referring to the bull Mose and I are trying to reanimate.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Kelly: Can you stop micro-managing? I know how to do this.
Dwight: What are you guys doing?
Kelly: This girl was really rude to me at the mall, so I created a fake IM account from a hot guy at her high school, and now I'm trying to make her anorexic.
Ryan: Tell her everyone in homeroom thinks she's fat.
Kelly: That is so good.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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