The Office

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Tallahassee
"Tallahassee"

Thu, February 16

Dwight Schrute Quotes (Page 27)

Season 5, Episode 18: "Blood Drive"
Dwight: So basically, the greater volume you decide to buy in, the greater discount we can give you.
Blonde: OK.
Dwight: OK, what's up?
Blonde: Look, I'm gonna go...
Dwight: Oh-oh-oh before you go, I'd just love to get a firm commitment on this. You know maybe sign-
Blonde: Look, we already have a paper supplier.
Dwight: OK. Well, thanks for wasting my time tonight, idiot. God!
Michael: Hey, you don't deserve her.
Dwight: Thanks, Michael.
 • Rating: Unrated
Meredith: She could be your soul mate.
Dwight: Oh, not likely. Three billion women on the planet, most of them live in Asia, so the numbers just don't add up.
Oscar: It's possible.
Kelly: She could be.
Michael: Believe me its nothing. I hardly even talked to her we just, we were lying there next to each other, I think our blood bags touched.
Kelly: Aww.
 • Rating: Unrated
Dwight: ...and the kind of discounts we're talking about are not... hold on - Michael, Why do you keep looking at the front door?
Michael: No reason.
Dwight: Is somebody after you?
Oscar: Why do you always go to that? Has anyone ever been after anyone in this office?
Dwight: Hey, it just takes one!
Michael: Nobody's after me, I just, I met a woman when I was giving blood and I thought she might come by.
Kelly: You met a woman when you were giving blood? That is so romantic.
Michael: It's not a big deal really, I just, you know met somebody, we hardly talked, I picked up her glove so I was hoping I could give it back to her.
Kelly: Oh my God, that makes it even more romantic. This is like a modern day Enchanted, it's like a fairy tale.
 • Rating: Unrated
Dwight: I can untie any knot. I'm serious. Name a knot, any knot. Go ahead.
Blonde: I believe you.
Dwight: You shouldn't believe everything you hear. In fact, there are many knots that I cannot untie. So where does a woman as charming as yourself find herself employed on a day such as today.
Blonde: Um, I work at a place that does catalogs for community colleges and small businesses.
Dwight: You must use a lot of paper.
Blonde: Oh God, tons of it.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Dwight: Dwight K. Schrute. Why don't you introduce me to your little friend? Hi, Dwight.
Michael: Babe alert! [to redhead] Hello, I'm Michael Scott, welcome to our little shindig.
Lynn: Oh, hi! I'm Lynn.
Michael: Lynn, follow me, come on in. For you we have one of our top people Kevin Malone. Kevin, come out here show your beautiful self.
Kevin: Hello.
Lynn: Hi.
Michael: So run with the ball! Run with it, Kev. Where you from?
Kevin: I'm from here!
Michael: Yeah, OK. Well, he only gets better.
Kevin: Thank you, Michael.
 • Rating: Unrated
Michael: So how you holding up?
Dwight: I'm ok. Feel a little lopsided because of all the blood they took out of my right side.
Michael: No. No, I meant about being single today.
Dwight: Oh. Meh.
Michael: Meh, exactly. Eh.
Dwight: Eh.
 • Rating: Unrated
Michael: Hey.
Dwight: Hey. No movement.
Michael: Ah, still early.
Dwight: Eh, its not that early.
 • Rating: Unrated
Dwight: Lonely people mixing with one another? Breeding? Creating an even lonelier generation? Ha, you're not allowing natural selection to do its work. Pssh. You're like the guy who invented the seat belt.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Michael: I look around and I see all these beautiful people who are alone on Valentine's, and I think that there are other single people out there too. We just need to find them. There's a girl out there for all of us maybe even in this office park. There has to be a way to get all these lonely people together.
Dwight: A net? a giant net?
Michael: No. Not a giant net.
 • Rating: Unrated
Kevin: My worst breakup was with Stacy. It was a Sunday morning, we were reading the paper, and I said "Oh my God, I think the Eagles could clinch the NFC East!" and she said that we're done.
Michael: You know what guys? I don't think we need to do this.
Dwight: You're right. OK everyone, back to work.
 • Rating: Unrated

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