The Office

Dwight Schrute Quotes (Page 29)

Dwight: Dwight K. Schrute. Why don't you introduce me to your little friend? Hi, Dwight.
Michael: Babe alert! [to redhead] Hello, I'm Michael Scott, welcome to our little shindig.
Lynn: Oh, hi! I'm Lynn.
Michael: Lynn, follow me, come on in. For you we have one of our top people Kevin Malone. Kevin, come out here show your beautiful self.
Kevin: Hello.
Lynn: Hi.
Michael: So run with the ball! Run with it, Kev. Where you from?
Kevin: I'm from here!
Michael: Yeah, OK. Well, he only gets better.
Kevin: Thank you, Michael.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: So how you holding up?
Dwight: I'm ok. Feel a little lopsided because of all the blood they took out of my right side.
Michael: No. No, I meant about being single today.
Dwight: Oh. Meh.
Michael: Meh, exactly. Eh.
Dwight: Eh.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Hey.
Dwight: Hey. No movement.
Michael: Ah, still early.
Dwight: Eh, its not that early.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dwight: Lonely people mixing with one another? Breeding? Creating an even lonelier generation? Ha, you're not allowing natural selection to do its work. Pssh. You're like the guy who invented the seat belt.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Michael: I look around and I see all these beautiful people who are alone on Valentine's, and I think that there are other single people out there too. We just need to find them. There's a girl out there for all of us maybe even in this office park. There has to be a way to get all these lonely people together.
Dwight: A net? a giant net?
Michael: No. Not a giant net.
 • Rating: Unrated

Kevin: My worst breakup was with Stacy. It was a Sunday morning, we were reading the paper, and I said "Oh my God, I think the Eagles could clinch the NFC East!" and she said that we're done.
Michael: You know what guys? I don't think we need to do this.
Dwight: You're right. OK everyone, back to work.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dwight: I train my major blood vessels to retract into my body on command. Also, I can retract my penis up into itself.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jim: Uh, I actually thought we were keeping it pretty low-key.
Michael: Well, if you guys insist on having your own private little love fest-
Jim: We do.
Michael: - that none of us can be a part of-
Pam: You can't be a part of our relationship, Michael.
Michael: - then, we, are gonna have our own private Valentine's Day party.
Jim: That sounds fun.
Michael: So suck it. Hey everybody, I just invited Jim to suck it, and I am cordially inviting all of you to a special convention, a lonely heart's convention, this afternoon. Singles only.
Dwight: Yeah, deal with it Pam!
Michael: So we may not have someone in our lives that we love, but we do have each other.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Pam, really, they're back?
Pam: I can't see them when they're on the floor
Jim: They're for her to look at, Michael.
Michael: Can I have a word with you, Jim?
Jim: Yes, let's have a word.
Michael: Yes, um, Jim. Today is a very difficult day for a lot of people in this office.
Jim: Oh, I'm sorry.
Michael: Yeah. And the sexy looks between you and Pam, the general sexiness, the flowers, it's creating a bit of a hostile work environment.
Jim: I understand that.
Dwight: So sexy it becomes hostile.
Michael: Mm-hmm.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dwight: Birthday time is over! Now go make up for all the work you missed when you were taking your nap.
 • Rating: 2.0 / 5.0

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