The Office

Dwight Schrute Quotes (Page 35)

Michael: Look at him. With his stupid face. Stupid... tan. No.
Dwight: He looks great.
Michael: No.
Dwight: Well rested.
Michael: He looks worse.
 • Rating: Unrated

Angela: Are you swallowing them whole? You're eating them so fast, are they even touching your tongue?
Kevin: Yes.
Dwight: Brownies is it? Hm. Pastry cubes made of sugar and fat? No thank you, I'll stick with my jerky.
Jim: So why did you come in here?
Dwight: To socialize. And inform.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jim: How does everyone know already?
Dwight: Know what?
Meredith: Pam failed art school.
Dwight: Oh, well, doesn't surprise me.
Jim: Excuse me?
Dwight: Have you seen her painting, Jim? The building? There are shadows coming from two different directions.
Phyllis: Dwight, stop it.
Stanley: Dwight.
Dwight: What? Are there two suns?
 • Rating: Unrated

Angela: [on phone] Hello? Hello?
Andy: What is wrong with you?
Oscar: Why won't you do Andy?
Angela: What?
Andy: That was Oscar and he wants to know why you won't do me and I think it's a valid question.
Angela: Are you drunk?
Andy: This is Andy Bernard!
Angela: I know who this is!
Andy: I wanna take you to sex school.
Angela: What?
Dwight: [on phone] Who is that, Monkey?
Andy: Is somebody there?
Angela: Are you drunk?
Andy: I have needs.
Angela: We will discuss this later.
Andy: Naked.
Angela: What?
Andy: We'll discuss it later naked. I want to see you naked.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dwight: Congratulations on choosing Schrute Farms for your wedding.
Andy: We haven't decided on anything yet. We're still reviewing some options, and it's gonna come down to the numbers.
Dwight: Well, then. Why don't you look over some of our materials?
Andy: Oh. Hmm.
Dwight: [looking at Angela] While I describe to you the Excalibur package. In addition to the breathtaking natural beauty and smell of Schrute Farms, I can promise you that our grounds can be catered to fit your exact specifications. I will work tirelessly for you over the coming months and be at your constant disposal. Please feel free to call or stop by, any time of the day or night.
Andy: That's very generous.
Dwight: While you, my good friend, have nothing more to worry about. This wedding is officially out of your hands.
Andy: Oh, thank the good Lord. Deal!
Dwight: OK.
Andy: Um, what are we talking price wise?
Dwight: You already said deal.
Angela: Pay him whatever he wants.
Andy: Can't argue with that.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jim: I think you're right. I think it was Kelly. I think she's mad at us for not coming to her party.
Dwight: Oh, man, I knew it. Who are her co-conspirators?
Jim: Probably just Kelly.
Dwight: Obviously. I knew it.
Jim: That's what I'm saying.
Dwight: Yeah. What?
Jim: You were right.
Dwight: I was - I was right.
Jim: You were right.
Dwight: I was right.
Jim: You knew it.
Dwight: I knew it.
Jim: You knew it the whole time, buddy.
Dwight: I knew it the whole time, buddy! [shoves Jim]
Jim: Wow.
Dwight: Yeah! Woo-hoo!
 • Rating: Unrated

Jim: I'm not talking to you.
Dwight: Who are you talking to?
Jim: Pam.
Dwight: She's not here, Jim
Jim: No, she's not.
 • Rating: 4.7 / 5.0

Dwight: I've caught Jim talking to himself several times today. What a loser. Get a friend, loser.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Michael: Hey, sport.
Dwight: I heard someone got engaged, you dog, huh? [punches Michael's shoulder]
Michael: Ow! God!
Dwight: Oh, nothing can hurt you now. You're a man in love!
[cut to Darryl]
Darryl: I was there. That dude is not engaged. I'm not a big believer in therapy, but I'll go into my own pocket to cover his co-pay.
 • Rating: Unrated

Andy: I thought I'd come in casual today. Man, I'm hungry. Anyone else feel like a beet?
Dwight: Where did you get those?
Andy: What, these? Bernard Farms. Best beets in the state.
Dwight: I see what you are doing. But I do not know where you are going with this.
Andy: Well you will. Soon as you visit ... my new beet farm.
 • Rating: Unrated

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