The Office

Dwight Schrute Quotes (Page 44)

Dwight: I am ready to face any challenges that might be foolish enough to face me.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Dwight: For your convenience, I've broken it down into three parts: professional resume, athletic and special skills resume, and Dwight Schrute trivia.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dwight: I have left Dunder-Mifflin after many record-breaking years and am officially on the job market. And it's very exciting.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Dwight: Michael! Michael! There's an emergency in the warehouse.
Michael: There an accident? Somebody hurt?
Dwight: No, it's... involves the photograph.
Michael: Oh. God. No, no, no, no, no.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dwight: Pam and Karen! I am ordering you to cease and desist all party planning immediately.
Pam: You can't do that.
Dwight: As ranking number 3 in this office, I am ordering you to-
Andy: Ummm, I'm number 3.
Dwight: You're number 4.
Andy: Yeah, but I'm number 3.
Dwight: Uh, no.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dwight: He was already dead, and we Schrutes use every part of the goose. The meat has a delicious smoky rich flavor. Plus, you can use the molten goose grease and save it in the refrigerator, thus saving you a trip to the store for a can of expensive goose grease.
Jim: Wow. Win-win.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dwight: I am greatly concerned about having a convict in the office. And I do not care if that convict is white, black, Asian, German, or some kind of halfsy. I do not like criminals.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: [waiting outside CFO's house] What are we still doing here? It's over. Let's go home, get the car. Ohhh, this was such a stupid idea. This was so stupid. [cries] I'm such a stupid idiot. I let everybody down. Everybody hates me. I lost everybody's jobs. Nobody likes me anymore!
Dwight: [checks his phone] OH MY GOD!
Michael: What?
Dwight: Stamford is closed! Michael, we're not closed! Stamford is closed!
Michael: Stamford is closed?! WE DID IT! WE DID IT! How did we do it?
Dwight: I don't... have no idea.
Michael: I don't understand.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dwight: When you become close with someone, you develop a kind of sixth sense. You can read their moods like a book. And right now, the title of Michael's book is.. "Something Weird Is Going On... colon... What Did Jan Say? The Michael Scott Story... by Michael Scott. With Dwight Schrute."
 • Rating: Unrated

Dwight: Last weekend, I outran a black pepper snake.
 • Rating: 4.7 / 5.0

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