Dwight Schrute Quotes (Page 53)
Season 3, Episode 4: "Grief Counseling"
Dwight: [to Angela] If my head ever comes off, I would like you to put it on ice.
• Rating: Unrated
Dwight: When I die. I want to be frozen. And if they have to freeze me in pieces, so be it. I will wake up stronger than ever, because I will have used that time, to figure out exactly why I died. And what moves I could have used to defend myself better now that I know what hold he had me in.
• Rating: Unrated
Season 3, Episode 3: "The Coup"
Michael: I shall now be serving Dwight's job as Assistant Regional Manager.
Dwight: That's Assistant to the Regional Manager.
• Rating: Unrated
Dwight: Ever since Michael dumped Jan for Carol, Jan's been bitching out on him. Reject a woman, and she will never let it go. One of the many defects of their kind. Also, weak arms.
• Rating: Unrated
Angela: It's really happening!
Dwight: Yes.
Angela: We can make a difference here.
Dwight: I will make a difference here.
Angela: You? Alone? 'Cause I thought together we could ...
Dwight: Oh, please, don't be naive. But you could be in charge of the women.
• Rating: Unrated
Michael: Hey, I thought you weren't supposed to eat anything for a couple hours after you've had a crown put it?
Dwight: They have this new kind of quick-drying bonding.
Michael: Oh? Sounds like a good dentist.
Dwight: Yeah...
Michael: What's his name?
Dwight: [pauses] Crentist.
Michael: Your dentist's name is Crentist? Hmm. Sounds a lot like dentist.
Dwight: Maybe that's why he became a dentist.
• Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
Season 3, Episode 2: "The Convention"
Michael: [looking at hotel bed under black light] Whoa, what are all those stains?
Dwight: Blood, urine or semen.
Michael: Oh god, I hope it's urine.
• Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
Dwight: (sees Jerome Bettis) Why do they call him The Bus?
Michael: Because he's afraid to fly.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 3, Episode 1: "Gay Witch Hunt"
Michael: I need to know who else is gay. I don't want to offend anyone else.
Dwight: You could assume everyone is, and not say anything offensive.
Michael: Yeah. I'm sure everyone would appreciate me treating them like they were gay.
• Rating: Unrated
Dwight: Jim told me you can buy gaydar online.
Michael: That's ridiculous.
Dwight: Probably. He didn't tell the truth a lot.
Michael: Let's call him and get the website.
Dwight: Definitely.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
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Total Quotes: 622
