The Office

Dwight Schrute Quotes (Page 58)

Michael: Dwight, put the bottle down or you're fired!
Dwight: You can't fire me! I don't work in this van!
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Dwight, what's your middle name?
Dwight: Danger.
Michael: Something with a 'K'.
Jim: It's Kurt. Wow, I'm so sad I know that.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jim: So where are you shipping your foot?
Michael: Ha ha ha. So where are you shipping...
Dwight: YOUR foot?
 • Rating: Unrated

Angela: Hey, come inside and talk to me.
Dwight: I can't! Do you want us to run aground, woman?
 • Rating: Unrated

Captain Jack: I need a volunteer to come up and hold my stick.
Dwight: Me me me!
Captain Jack: Ah. Usually it's a woman.
Dwight: I'm stronger.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dwight: Don't worry Michael, I'm taking us to shore!
Michael: It's a fake wheel, dummy!
 • Rating: Unrated

Kelly: [kisses Dwight]
Dwight: What are you doing?!
Kelly: I don't know.
Dwight: You shouldn't do things like that. A man's supposed to do that.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dwight: Yankee Swap is like Machiavelli meets Christmas.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Dwight: I think one of the greatest things about modern America is the computerization of medical records. As a volunteer sheriff I can look up anyone's psychiatric records or surgical histories. Yeast infections...there are a huge number of yeast infections in this county. Probably because we're downriver from that old bread factory...
 • Rating: Unrated

Dwight: I went out and got drunk with my laser tag team last night. Crap! I never go out on a Thursday night. What the hell was I thinking?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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