When you become close with someone, you develop a kind of sixth sense. You can read their moods like a book. And right now, the title of Michael's book is.. "Something Weird Is Going On... colon... What Did Jan Say? The Michael Scott Story... by Michael Scott. With Dwight Schrute."

Dwight: I see dead people.
Michael: Okay! Spoiler alert!
Dwight: He was dead the whole time.
Michael: Just stop it!

Dwight: Diwali is a celebration of the coronation of the God-king Rama, after his epic battle with Ravina, the demon-king of Lanka. It symbolizes the battle between good and evil.
Michael: All right, all right. This isn't Lord of the Rings.

Kelly: Um, Diwali is awesome. And there's food, and there's gonna be dancing. And, oh, I got the raddest outfit. It has, um, sparkles-
Michael: Kelly? Um, why don't you tell us a little bit about the origins of the holiday?
Kelly: Oh, um, I don't know. It's really old, I think.
Angela: How many gods do you have?
Kelly: Like hundreds, I think. Maybe more than that.
Angela: And that blue busty gal? What's her story?
Kevin: She looks like Pam from the neck down.
Dwight: Pam wishes.

Pam: I just feel kind of tired, you know?
Dwight: Maybe you've got mono.
Pam: Maybe.

Ryan: They really didn't like me.
Dwight: They did not. But they didn't have to say it to your face.

[to Ryan] When you are ready to see the sales office, the sales office will present itself to you.


[to Ryan] You have walked the long lonely walk of loneliness.

Will Ryan become a slacker, loser, wise ass like Jim or will he join the Dwight Army of Champions?

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